Monday, April 13, 2015

Listening

Tomorrow, I go back to see the cardiologist. What are the results of my first two day EKG? We'll see. I had to stop taking the newest SSRI med after four days due to sever side effects. Called a nurse help line and was told to go to an ER or a walk in clinic to be safe. Ended up at an ER and had another EKG done. Then they said I could go home (due to only taking it for a short time. No danger of withdrawl symptoms).

Now, every day I try to listen to how I feel. What's causing the pain my legs, back and in other parts of my body? Is it undealt with trauma memory? Is it something else? If you have long term extremely high untreated stress, eventually it has to affect you in many ways:

your autoimmune system
your digestion
weight fluctuation
adrenal glands
and more

I'm not sure what it is. But the pain and symptoms are there. No nightmares right now. Just no dreams at all. Is this my system taking a break? I'm not sure.

Since there's nothing to hide behind anymore (alcoholism and other destructive things), more comes flooding out and seems worse than before. On really bad days, literally everything hurts. I feel like I'm 110, and can barely move. In a good way, I try to look at it as everything is connected. What else can I do?

Stay away from triggering stuff as much as possible. Protect yourself at all costs. Because you can't sit back and do nothing.

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