Catching up on lots of important stuff at home today. Update my instructions for my will executor. When you have a horribly disfunctional "immediate family", how do you trust one of them to do this? I try to keep my side of things clean, so I have nothing to apologize for later. I'm not responsible for anything horrible people say and do. But I will set boundaries to protect myself. It feels weird to sit and write something that someone will read after you're gone. Especially when you feel abandoned and can't trust anybody.
You feel angry at times, and you want to kill everyone who laughed at you and treated you like shit when you were trying to get help. Nobody wants anything to do with it. How then do you deal with that?
We just want to feel safe.