More appointments and new meds to take. Hopefully these might give me a better chance at actually getting some sleep. When was the last time I got a good night's sleep? I don't remember. Along with that, nightmares still happen.
Also, non stop dissociating. You fight really hard not to literally snap. Some days I just stay home, and try to feel grounded and safe in my own home. I wake up in the middle of the night and check all the rooms to make sure I'm alone. Then, you wake up around 2 or 3 a.m. You can't go back to sleep. What do you do then? Usuually, turn the TV on with the sound down, and rock back and forth holding onto a pillow so hopefully that helps to be grounded. You just don't feel safe staying in bed.
You have to fight to keep some sense of balance.