Friday, March 15, 2013

Where Do You Turn? (Contains graphic content. Read at your own risk)

A long week of job hunting, despair, feeling abandoned and now someone saying that pedophilia isn't a "criminal offense". How the **** do you respond to THAT?

As our long term readers know (and for anyone new), I have multiple personalities and my little kid. This is a perfectly normal survival response to being raped or any severe trauma. People have different views about re-integration. I look at it like this connection is important to all of us.

For a long time, unintentionally I didn't listen to them. Imagine an innocent little kid who's attacked and cries for years hoping that Mom, Dad or someone will pay attention and help. But nobody does. Finally though, I did and it took a long time for them to start to trust me. Now I'm proud to say that they do and we value this connection.

What's the hardest part of being a rape survivor? One would be the despair that never seems to go away. You feel paralyzed with despair and a feeling of abandonment. You know it's not your fault. Yet, 99% of the world can't be bothered to pay attention or to care that you're alive.

I'm telling the truth when I talk about being a rape survivor. That's not the only thing I am. But it is part of me.

Why do others say and do horrible things? I don't know. However, I do know that I will protect my health and my self esteem. Nobody else will do it.

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