Sunday, March 31, 2013


Happy Easter, and how's your weekend? For man, it's a long holiday. For others, maybe not so long, but still a nice break.

Here, it's been a busy week. Another job interview, and we start a new part-time job this week. Now, it's find daytime hours to fill out the schedule, cover the bills and more. There's also what feels like endless body pain and despair. All of our reputable mental health sources say it's not unexpected at all for this to come out, considering what you've been through. Untreated PSTD symptoms for a long time.

There's also anger and a feeling of abandonment. You fight every day to not give into despair and fall apart. You check yourself into a psych ward because you think you're suicidal, and then you realize you're not (kind of like Billy Joel's story about Bell View). You fight your way out, and practically everyone who says they care about you don't even acknowledge that you're there. No call, no visits, no human contact even after you get out.

Does anybody care if I'm alive?

Women rape survivors need help. Yet, in all of the current talk about women rape survivors getting help, being heard and more, does ANYONE talk about guy survivors? I don't have exactly the same needs as a woman survivor. Yet, I still count.

How come the world doesn't want to admit that?

I have body memory and severe pain. I have body memory of the psycho rapist going down on me, or cumming inside me. You desperately want to wash that away and feel clean and "normal". All normal human beings want to feel validated and not like dirt.

Nobody wants to hear that on social media. The "progressive" media? Not a chance.

Does anybody care what happens to me?

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