This blog is one person's fight against horrible PTSD from being repeatedly raped. Sometimes I use "triggers" (sights, sounds, colors and more) to get points across. But never to hurt other survivors. If this bothers you, stop reading now. Otherwise, keep going and thanks for the support.
Back to it. And so far it seems to be ok. Yesterday was an endless battle to not dissociate. You scream and fight to not disappear. But what happens when you try everything you can to stay grounded and you still have to fight? I really don't want to sink down to the level of the sick assholes that treated me like s**t.
How do you deal with a stuck fight-or-flight mechanism? If you dissociate, sometimes it takes FOREVER to get past that. Also, if you go out someplace and everything is heightened awareness, how do you cope with that?
We'll see how it goes.