Another night of almost no sleep. Stay away from salt, sugar and caffeine as much as possible. Set boundaries. Screen everything. Some days there's no TV. No being bombarded with pain. But even with these things, it's still there.
I go out driving somewhere, and flashbacks happen to getting hit by another car. My car is totaled. Am I dead? No. Can I move? Yes. Why is this happening? Pain is always there. Dissociating is always there. I also know that your chemical balance plays a role in this. If you can keep your p/h levels in a good balance, it helps to a certain extent.
But the pain is always there. You never get a break.
You try and focus on a good chi flow. But it's always a struggle. It's like at times bits and pieces come out of nowhere. You have to fight really hard to get the anger out and feel like maybe you'll get a few seconds of relief.
The pain is still there.
You have to fight back. You have to protect yourself. You don't have a choice.