It's been a busy week. Sorry to be away, but it's been a real struggle to deal with symptoms, appointments and to keep some sense of balance. You set boundaries as best you can. Protect yourself from triggering stuff as much as possible. If you didn't, a tiny slip could be fatal.
I'm struggling with flashbacks and abandonment. You try to be supportive of others as best you can. But despite that, at times you feel paralyzed with pain. Our symptoms have been horribly severe for a long time, and continue to be. But we know we're on the right path overall. We can't get support from the "immediate family"? Okay. Go somewhere else to get the support you need.
We did nothing wrong.
We're not insane.
We're not weird.
We're not a freak.
If we have thoughts about raping little kids, that will never happen. Having these thoughts doesn't mean
that we're some psycho pedophile.
We're not a danger to ourselves or anyone else.
We just want to feel safe.