Happy holiday weekend (if you're lucky enough to have one). Symptoms and nightmares still happen. Pain is still there. When I wake up in the morning, you have to focus and deal with dissociating and pain. Many time arthritic.
Then, we're still trying to keep some sense of being grounded. It's like holding onto many things to keep everything in line. It's a constant battle to not dissociate or black out. You also have torture flashbacks and other types of pain.
It's constant exhaustion. You can't just sit back and do nothing, You have to fight back. But flashbacks happen. Constant pain and psychotic episodes. Every day. Nobody helped us.
Every single day.
Don't intentionally put yourself in a position where you'll slip. Dissociating is like binge drinking. It only makes pain worse. You have to protect yourself.
You don't want to turn into some burned out, nasty monster because of your trauma history. You have to protect yourself. You have to do the responsible thing.
You just want to be able to sit and listen to quiet. Sit, listen and don't be bombarded with pain.