A scary day yesterday. Had a big slip in dissociating and for a while, I didn't know where I was. What time was it? None of that mattered. Just escape from the pain that never goes away. But then, we finally fought back and found our point to fight back from. You have to reassure yourself over and over that you're not psychotic. You're not insane. You're not a danger to anybody. You're fighting to keep some control over your life as best you can.
Today, a little more stability. You still have crushing despair and abandonment when you have brief moments of clarity. But you try to remind yourself that we did nothing wrong. Trauma has to come out. If not in one way, it comes out in others. Also, it's NOT being a professional patient (whatever that means). It's doing important work.
Protect yourself as best you can.