It's a constant battle to not dissociate and black out. At times you literally don't know what's real and what isn't. You have to fight to keep some sense of reality and to not just fall apart.
At times you just feel paralyzed. You try to get out of bed, but you're so exhausted that you just go back to rest. You have some moments of clarity. But you're also scared. What do you do now?
Set boundaries and protect yourself.