A nice lunch, some iced tea and rest have helped somewhat to keep a better sense of balance today. Having said that though, you still struggle at times and feel exhausted fighting to not fall apart. Since you got raped, you've never had one day free of symptoms. You've never had a day where you weren't fighting to fall apart.
What else can you do? You just can't go with your feelings. If that helps someone else, good for them. I'm just talking about myself.
I don't want to go back to violently dissociating and thinking that you can escape pain, when it makes things worse. Kind of like a binging alcoholic.
Time to get out for a while.