Yes, eventually it does add up. Do we win something? It feels like surviving everything we have, we should. Long-term abuse, alcoholism, severe illnesses, heart diseases, almost dying 5 times in the past ten years.
And we're still here.
Today, there's been some moments of clarity and introspection. Along with the nightmares and flashbacks to being raped, there's also at times abandonment and trying to keep a sense of positive focus.
Like I told a mental health source earlier today, I don't want to die from anger. Anger at either the psychos that raped me and got away with it, or those that laughed at me and treated me like dirt.
Just trying to keep some sense of balance.