This blog contains one person's fight against PTSD from being repeatedly raped. At times "triggers" (sights, sounds and more) are used to make points. If these bother you, stop now. Otherwise, keep going and thanks for the support.
Happy Thanksgiving. Even if you're not really into it, it's still fun to take the break. Eat and drink heavily, watch your favorite sport on TV (even if it's American football and not PROPER football). But that's all right.
Howare you coping? I'm still going to EMDR. And my multiples and little kid want to continue, but gradually. One of the hardest things is the despair. You know something's wrong, you turn for help everywhere you can. And NOBODY listens. Under no circumstances will anybody acknowledge that you exist. You didn't want to go back to that sick m****rf****R'S house and get raped all voer again. You didn't want to feel like a f*****g piece of meat. He gets his rocks off and then, fuck off. And NOBODY will listen.
Is the whole world totally f****d up? If nobdy listens, what do we do? It makes you think to yourself, why should I ever talk to you again? But aside from the therapist and a few survivor pals, nobody can be bothered.
Sometimes twisted flashbacks or triggers come out of nowhere. And you really have to fight to focus and keep your balance. Otherwise, you'll snap. And I refuse to do that.
One herb that helps: Relaxing Sleep Tonic (made by Herb Pharm). It's a little easier to use than Kava. And especially now, using it 4 times a day.
If you have other stuff that helps, please post a comment.