Wednesday, August 17, 2016

Trying to Protect Ourselves

You try not to hide behind things that only make pain worse. This means that you try to face your history as best you can. It also means at times feeling paralyzed by anger, fear, torture flashbacks and more.

We know we did nothing wrong. We try to protect ourselves. This means right now no cable news. Also, almost no TV at all. Death, destruction, racism, rich and powerful pedophile rings. It's too much. You feel like you're the only person that sees all of the pain and what's really happening. On the other hand, you can't handle your pain and the pain of the world all at the same time.

Sometimes, you want no noise. You just sit quietly and try to focus on feeling safe. You're bombarded with violent dissociating and torture flashbacks. You try to protect yourself. But you still scream and fight to not black out.

We're stuck. Not sure what else to say.

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