Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Breaks, Suicide and More (Contains potentially triggering content. Read at your own risk)

Yes, it's been a long break. What kept us offline? The govt. cracking down on our content? No. Instead, upgrading from windows 8.1 to 10. Then, horrible stuff.

One of my nieces tried to kill herself. She's been in the hospital for almost a week now, and what's her condition? At first, she was barely conscious. Then, she was brain dead for a short time. Now, she's still in a coma, but there is some brain activity. Not to the point yet of her being conscious.

What caused this? I don't know. I really don't like to psychoanalyze people from a distance. But while I'm happy that she's improving, there's also lots of anger as well.

Once I admitted myself into a psych ward. I thought I was suicidal. Instead, I was just depressed. It took me three days to literally fight my way out of there. At no time did anyone in my immediate family (whatever that means) show any support in any way.

I really don't want to fall into a trap of being angry, burned out and saying fuck this. She's in the hospital and gets all kinds of support. I was in a hospital, and NOBODY supported me. So why should I give a fuck about her?

I really try to stick to health being physical and emotional. I still struggle with anger that will make me almost snap in two. If it doesn't come out in one way, it will come out in others.

Unless your someone's parent, teacher or boss, you can't make them do anything. I can't make people want to listen to my trauma history. i can't make them instantly show some sort of empathy. Despite that, I'm still a trauma survivor that struggles to be heard. And not eaten alive by despair and abandonment.

Feel free to post your thoughts.

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