Today's one of those dangerous-content-is-everywhere days. Don't go near it. Screen everything, and protect yourself at all costs. With that in mind, do you feel abandoned? Do you feel like nobody's listening or cares? While you can't control what horrible people do and say, you can set boundaries. But the symptoms are still there.
We haven't had a good night's sleep for a really long time. It's like one nightmare after another. Then, you try to get up around 3 a.m. eat something for breakfast, and then go back to bed to try and focus your energy. Now, I can get up and face my day.
Does anybody listen to you? If not, how do you cope? I have no desire to hurt myself or anyone else. But anger is still there. I still at times have fleeting thoughts about raping a little kid. Three monsters raped me and got away with it. So I'll rape a little kid.
Why does this still happen? I'm not a threat to anyone. I don't want to "identify" with the psychos that raped me. But it's still there. By the end of the day fighting all of this, I can barely move.
I'm not crazy. I'm just trying to cope as best I can.