A scary night last night. Why? It felt like all the terror of being raped and completely abandoned hit all at once. You don't want to hurt yourself or anyone else. Despite that, a feeling of being this close to saying what's the point is there.
Today, it was still there. You go out and do things, but you still feel completely empty and terrified. Everyone we trust says the same thing. Considering what's happened to you, this is completely normal. Terrifying, but normal.
You also have to screen everything. Without going into all the specifics (which defeats the purpose here of not intentionally triggering others), it feels like the rest of the world is saying we don't care what you think. We're going to microanalyze this and beat it death for ratings as long as we can. Which means turn it off and go elsewhere. A suggestion. Even if you're totally wiped out from a long day, don't fall into the trap of not protecting yourself. Because nobody else will. If you do have to watch something, try turning the sound down.
The emptiness is still there. On the other hand, so are we.