Another day of fighting symptoms. Pain is always there. Don't let your guard down so you'd have a slip and dissociate. It doesn't help to escape pain. It just makes things worse.
Abandonment never goes away. You try to reassure yourself (and my multiples and little kid) that we did nothing wrong. If other do and say horrible stuff, that's their choice. They then have to live with the consequences.
You just try to protect your well being.