You have to fight back. You never get a break. Somedays you have no noise because you just want peace and quiet. You know how easy it is to let your guard down and then dissociate. You lose track of everything and have to fight your way back to reality.
Will we go to a family Xmas party? If we do, it will be as brief as possible. We still struggle with anger, frustration and abandonment. Can we ever believe anything that anybody says?
We just want to feel safe.