Another day of fighting really hard to not slip and violently dissociate. Lots of pain, and you fight really hard to not black out. Then, you have a really horrible headache because your chi flow is messed up. This means drink lots of sugary drinks and healthy snacks to rebalance it and your p/h balance.
You feel really empty, and lots of pain. You fight really hard to not dissociate or hallucinate. You just want to protect yourself. This means that you have to face your trauma history without endangering yourself in some way.
Do you still struggle with your impulse to save the world all by yourself? I do. Now, it's okay to say sorry, but I can't do that. You're aware and you care. But your well being comes first.
You just want to feel safe.