How's Your Balance?

It's a sunny and busy Wednesday. Despair is still there at times as we cover lots of ground. But, you keep going in tiny segments and always have as many options as possible.

Can you handle your I-must-save-the-world impulses? It's fine to have them. It's just a matter of taking on what you can.

Hi to our new global readers (everywhere from Madrid to Melbourne to Vancouver, B.C.). We have no ad budget here. It's free information that needs your links to be seen. Cheers.

Emptiness

Lots of despair at times. There's emptiness and you don't know all the reasons why. You're not going to off yourself. But you don't know the reasons why.

More bases to cover. We're really trying to keep tiny segments in mind. Also, screen everything. This can mean you have to find new sources for information. But also, think of the extra time you have.

Crippling Despair

Overcast but a warm 80F here. Today it's cleaning, cooking and more stuff online.

Also, dealing with deapir and emptiness. It's like you know you exist, but you feel like an empty shell. You know you have things to do. But it takes enormous amounts of energy to do them. We fight to keep our sense of balance and not to just disappear in despair.

Does this ever go away for you? How do you cope when you feel like nobody's there? Everywhere you turn and you think that someone will listen to you and help they don't. Where do you go then?

Aside from the obvious of you have to keep going, we just try to keep our boundaries up when necessary. We also say somebody else's words and actions are not our responsibility. It's exhausting, but what else can you do?

Screen Everything

It's Friday, and triggering stuff is happening everywhere. Our suggestion? Screen everything because nobody else will.

Everybody has their limits (both physically and mentally). This also means that everyone has to decide for themselves where to set boundaries and when to say no. When to walk away despite what others are saying and doing as you do.

How do you deal with despair? Are your symptoms debilitating in any way? We still have ours. Despair from feeling like no one's ever been there. We try to keep going as best we can and they have to live with the consequences.

Screen everything.

Cover Your Bases

Another morning to fight to focus. Our fight-or-flight mechanism is still stuck at times. You have to fight to get past that and get your balance back without blacking out. Then deal with the rest of your day.

Had a teaching job interview two days ago. That went ok, but it didn't work out. Why? The classes are ultra short term with long gaps in-between. How can you pay bills with that? So we'll find something else. We're also putting in time everyday on as many other options as possible. If the new jobs aren't here, have a set option to move to. Why renew an apt. lease if you can't pay the rent? No reason to.

One thing that seems to help somewhat? Keep your system in balance. Get the chemicals and acidic stuff out thru exercise and other things. Another idea? Chocolate chip cookies.

Use Your Tools

It's Monday and the triggering stuff is still there. Can we explain it? No. But we can screen everything and protect ourselves.

If we don't, it's too much and we end up having nightmares or flashbacks. Some mental health experts say you're never cured of PTSD. Right now we don't worry about that. Instead, deal with what you have to. As for the other stuff, be very selective. Why? Because nobody else will do it for you.

You're not responsible for what others do and say. Just cover your side.

Fighting to Focus

How's your focus? We still have to fight to get ours. Add to that everything else that you do, and it's really exhausting.

Do you still have adrenalin surges? We take breaks to try and focus on our chi flow. But even with that it's still frustrating to deal with. Does this mean the tiniest amount of stimulants sets this off? We don't know.

What helps you to keep your balance? Despair and flashbacks still happen as well. But, we keep going.

Keep Your Balance

How's your Friday? We're still filtering as much as possible. With a lot of the major triggering news, it's everyone rehashing the same points to try and make it sound like "cutting edge analysis". Unfortunately it's not.

This means protecting yourself as much as possible. At times we go out and some weird triggering thing comes out of nowhere. Then, we don't know where we are. We try to hold onto solid things and to focus. However, despair at times is crippling. How do you cope with that?

Is it possible to have no tolerance for stimlants at all? The tiniest amount causes lots of symptoms? We're still not sure.

Screen everything.

Screen Everything (not just incoming calls)

Almost time for lunch, shopping and even more. Our suggestion? Screen everything.

If you have to look, that's one thing. But if not, then we say go elsewhere. It feels like almost everything is triggering. While it's not your job to save the world, you do need to protect yourself.

Dissociating is the main problem these days. A more aklaline diet helps somewhat when you try to focus on something. But it's still a battle. You scream and fight to not black out. You hide somewhere to try and focus. Is it possible to totally lose your tolerance for something? A tiny amount causes almost violent symptoms? We're not sure.

If you need anything, you know where to find us.

Fighting for Balance

Went to the cable shop to upgrade our modem. Now we're at least at "average speed" (average up and down loads in the States. Which is about 100 times slower than the rest of the world). On the other hand, at least pages don't take 5 minutes to download.

How's the rest of your part of the world? For any new people here, welcome and please spread the word about us. We have readers now in over 30 countries. Please keep in mind our readers in Japan. Hoping everyone is safe.

Speaking of triggering stuff, a suggestion. Since much of it is the same stuff endlessly recycled, if you don't have to look at it, don't. That's not giving into the neocon "if you don't like it, turn it off" line. That's just protecting your health.

We still scream and fight to not black out. Exercise and diet help to a certain extent. But the symptoms are still there. What else can you do?

Flexibility is the Key

Happy Friday/early weekend. Happy Hour starts when you want it to start.

How are your symptoms today? Here, staying off acidic stuff seems to be the right approach. We make time to work out every day and just to pay attention to the effects of things on you. Also, we're still sticking to boundaries and keeping all options open. It's true; more options means more power.

One for us is going back abroad. We have a solid work history, a valid passport and essentially no debt (fortunately). No ties to this area or really to the States.

Next question. Where would we go back to? At this point, we're not sure. There are other places to go. So that's not the issue. It's a matter of going somewhere where we can feel happier and have more opportunities overall.

Do you the feeling that you're the only one who sees the whole picture? We know we're not. However, that sense is there. We also have to fight the urge to singlehandedly save the world. We're seeing more and more class warfare and a feeling of I don't wanna know. Many signs are right in front of you. But for many, they don't want to see them.

Which leads to the next point. Everyone's responsible for what they do and say. This means you deal with the consequences, and not somebody else. This means you have to set boundaries and decide where to fight and where not to. Because at a certain point what is the point?

You have to look out for your overall well being.

Have a nice day.

Be Very Selective

The triggering stuff is still there. It's getting harder to figure out who to trust and who to just avoid because you're three steps ahead of them anyway.

This means we still have to screen everything. This can at times actually save you time and money. Reputable studies have shown that trauma survivors tend to have a higher level of intuition. In our case, we've been lucky in already having that. Which means we try to be careful with it.

One key to intuition. The healthier you are, the sharper it is. Only makes sense.

Emptiness and despair is still there. We just try to keep our positive focus and move forward.

Feeling Empty

How's your evening/Thursday? Last night was rough. Anger and dissociating were really tough to handle. Finally we feel like our body gave out.

Is it because it's a nervous breakdown? No. Is it because of no more tolerance to acidic food and drinks? We think so. This means that there's lots of emptiness.

We can't afford to go to a therapist or holistic doctor. Which means keep moving in tiny segments.

Any suggestions on how to cope?

Tiny Segments at a time

Lots of bases to cover today. We also need to stock up on some herbal supplements. Food stamps cover some things other than vitamins. This means going to 2 or 3 stores instead of just one. Then again you do what you have to.

Do nightmares and despair still happen to you? At times we just turn everything off and go for a walk. We fight that and do everything else. Which means at the end of the day you're exhausted.

But what else can you do? If you don't fight back, you just fall apart. We've never met anyone who disagrees with this approach.

If you know of a better way to deal with symptoms, please post some comments.

How do you screen everything?

Covering lots of ground today on the job hunting front. Yesterday we were really down for some reason. Today though it seems like there's more of a balance.

Are you screening everything these days? If not, how do you cope? We believe in doing your homework to get the best possible information. However, a lot we just turn off because what's the point? It only adds to your sense of hopelessness.

We still have nightmares at times. The despair and paralysis is also there. At times in a crowded place, we just sit down and cry.

Does this happen to you?

How's the Balance?

A little overcast today. But still it's the weekend So try to multi-task a little less, and see how it goes.

Dissociating is still one of the biggest problems. A healthier diet helps to a certain point. But it's still exhausting to fight all day long.

The other thing we're balancing? Proactively creating opportunities. You can't just sit back and wait for them to come to you. Especially in this global depression.

Back to it.

Cover Your Bases

Is multi-tasking bad for your health? You be the judge.

We try to focus on one thing as we listen to Net radio (you have to have something on. So that's ok). Even with that, we still have to fight despair and dissociating. Hyperawareness happens at times. When it does we try to hold onto something real wherever we are to get grounded. Sometimes it helps and sometimes it doesn't.

All that matters though is balance and protection. Also, being as pro-active as possible. Because it's true. Just waiting for opportunities isn't the way to go. This is why God invented networking software.

Just one opinion.

Latenight Online

Could be a new global show? We'll keep that in mind.

Tonight, lots of healthy stuff (a flack seed burrito and kombucha). We still have despair and have to take lots of breaks. Triggering stuff still happens.

However, we protect ourselves because we have to. Some things are never negotiable.

Cover All Bases

How's your focus today? We're really paying attention to the effects of things, and not just the fact that we eat/drink/rad/watch something.

We're also fighting back to keep our positive balance. Along with everything else, it can be really draining by the end of the day. Anger still comes out, along with flashbacks and occasional body memory of being raped. We want to go back to therapy. But we also want to feel like we have control over our life.

Feel free to post your thoughts.

Focus is the Key

How are you coping with all the triggering stuff happening? We won't go into specifics here. In general, what helps you to handle all of that?

We still screen a lot and delete when necessary. Also, you need to protect yourself as much as possible. Why? Because nobody else will.

Despair still happens. We still scream and feel exhausted after fighting symptoms all day long. But what choice do we have?