Wednesday, April 26, 2017

Another Appointment

How's your part of the world? Another long day of fighting symptoms and to not black out from dissociating.     Had another doctor's appointment. My blood clotting factor is looking good. Despite that, constant exhaustion and pain are always there. Arthritis, circulation pain and more.

On the other hand, I'm not hiding behind destructive stuff that I used to do. Which means everything's flooding out.

No TV today. Can't handle commercials and how everything is corporate. Everybody looks the same, sounds the same and thinks they're funny when they're not. Also, they could care less what you the audience thinks.

How are you dealing with your trauma history? Here it feels like the full horror of mine is hitting me. As scary as it can be, that's a good sign.

Triggers are everywhere. You sit waiting for your appointment, and you can hear a little kid crying across the hall. Instantly you're screaming in pain as you're being raped and nobody bursts into the room to help you. If you're not careful, the slightest trigger could kill you. We have no desire to kill ourselves. But you have to keep that in mind.

Can we stop all of the pain in the world singlehandedly? No. But awareness and trying to do something is okay.

Protect yourself.

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