As best you can, face your trauma history head on. Unless it endangers you in some way.
We did nothing wrong. Other people who say and do horrible things? That's their problem? Sometimes we have moments of clarity. Then it's paralyzing pain and despair where we literally can't move. Anger and pain never go away. But what choice do we have? Denial only makes things worse.
You have to protect yourself. We're doing the right things.