All trauma survivors know the importance of setting healthy boundaries to protect your well being. Maybe you struggle with the I-can-save-the-world-by-myself idea, and fall short trying. The same has happened to me many times. But now, I've finally realized that I really can't do it all by myself.
My well being comes first. I have severe PTSD and heart disease. These other triggering things are making these worse.
Which means from now on, some new healthy boundaries. Unless some horrible emergency happens, the ONLY ways I'm going to be online is to look at sports scores, listen to some nice tune. Or, something that will help my overall well being. Like maintaining this blog.
As for the rest of it, I'm officially retired.
Just like rampant alcoholism or nonstop violent dissociating, I don't want to go back to that anymore. In the past, at times the stress was so bad that my system literally shorted out. Then when you came to, you had no idea where you were.
Now, I've been sober for over 20 years. I actually have periods where I can focus and not dissociate. I still struggle with it, along with nightmares and all the rest of it.
On the other hand, my well being comes first.
Some of my new benefit cards came in the mail. When everything is active, I'll have that extra protection, so I won't end up homeless or starving to death.
Back to the hospital next week for a new test. Every time I go to the doctor, they want a blood test. It's almost like I know all of the lab techs by their first names. A good thing? You be the judge.