Coping ok these days? More fighting anger and dissociaiting today. Also talked to the sister about the economy. And for a second I got really pissed off when she said my brother and father were "concerned" about me during this global meltdown.
What does that mean? I'll never talk to the "parents" again because there's no point. My brother will always be a clone of my father. My sister talks to me about borrowing money. After it took her 6 years to pay back $3,000. And, after she and her husband said f**k it, we don't give as s**t how f****d up you are on meds and PTSD. We'll do anything we have to to get your f*****g money. And now SHE'S talking to ME about BORROWING money? How surreal is this?
So for a second I went off on her. Basically, I was pissed off because of the above. And also the fact that NOBODY(aside from my therapist?) gives a shit. The whole world says go freak out in the corner with your weird ass symptoms. But don't EVER do it around me. And don't EVER think that someone will actually touch you and say I'm sorry you were raped. Just be a f*****g man and suck it up. What the f***'s wrong with you?
But I later made it clear that I will NEVER EVER do anything to jeopordize my balance. And if others can't deal with that, that's their problem.
Do you have rough moments like this?