Do you always know where you are? If dissociaiting is really bad at times we don't know where we are. You try all the standard grounding techniques. Yet, nothing works.
It feels like everyone who laughed at you and treated you like shit is trying to beat you down. You know you have to fight back because if you don't the "you're _________" loop will keep playing in your head, and you feel like you can't stop it.
If you don't feel back, do you feel like you're going to snap? Do you feel like you're going to just vanish down the drain and die? Then, nobody will care anymore?
Take it in tiny segments.