Lots of triggering stuff today, everywhere you look. Torture flashbacks. You scream in pain and fight to not black out and fall apart. Abandonment, pain and more pain. You have nothing to hide behind. Which means that it has to come out.
Screen everything, and protect your well being.
Showing posts with label Afghanistan. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Afghanistan. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 6, 2016
Sunday, January 10, 2016
Really Drained
Symptoms and fighting back. Don't dissociate and then black out. Try to focus and not have adrenalin surges. But they're still there.
Unless I have to go somewhere early, I try to eat breakfast and then go back to bed. Then, if you feel like you have some energy, then go on with the day. Despite that, it's still a struggle. You scream and try to not snap in two from anger.
But you have no other choice.
Unless I have to go somewhere early, I try to eat breakfast and then go back to bed. Then, if you feel like you have some energy, then go on with the day. Despite that, it's still a struggle. You scream and try to not snap in two from anger.
But you have no other choice.
Tuesday, January 20, 2015
Don't Dissociate
Lots of errands tody, and now some time to write online. One minute you have some energy and feel relatively stable. Then, you can barely get up and walk to your kitchen.
In my case, dissociating iis like an addict using. You think it will help you to escape pain. But it just makes it worse. You feel trapped in a maze, and you can't escape. When you do finally fight your way out, you almost black out.
The severity of your symptoms are equal to the severity of your trauma history.
You have no control over what other horrible people say and do. Despite that, you set boundaries where necessary.
I don't have a death wise. But at times the thought comes to mind. What if I wasn't here? Would anybody care? As much as possible, I'm trying to face my trauma hisory head on. Now, I have nothing to hide behind anymore.
Some days feel like endless pain. Then again, you have to keep going.
In my case, dissociating iis like an addict using. You think it will help you to escape pain. But it just makes it worse. You feel trapped in a maze, and you can't escape. When you do finally fight your way out, you almost black out.
The severity of your symptoms are equal to the severity of your trauma history.
You have no control over what other horrible people say and do. Despite that, you set boundaries where necessary.
I don't have a death wise. But at times the thought comes to mind. What if I wasn't here? Would anybody care? As much as possible, I'm trying to face my trauma hisory head on. Now, I have nothing to hide behind anymore.
Some days feel like endless pain. Then again, you have to keep going.
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Validation
Went to the psychiatrist earlier today. The biggest result? Validation that I'm doing the right things to try and heal overall. Now it's a referral to someone else and we'll see what happens there.
After that, it's a mix of validation and sadness, all at the same time. On the other hand, you do everything you have to to protect yourself. Because nobody else will do it for you.
As severe and horrible as my symptoms are, it's all a perfectly normal survival mechanism. I don't know where you are in your healing. Despite that, maybe that will help as you go along as well.
After that, it's a mix of validation and sadness, all at the same time. On the other hand, you do everything you have to to protect yourself. Because nobody else will do it for you.
As severe and horrible as my symptoms are, it's all a perfectly normal survival mechanism. I don't know where you are in your healing. Despite that, maybe that will help as you go along as well.
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