Sorry to be away for a while. The past few days have been exhausting in trying to keep some sense of being grounded. Not always, but at times you struggle to focus on what's real (instead of what's not). No, there's nobody there. I'm sitting on my bed. I feel the texture of the quilt beneath me. There's nobody over in the corner. I could dissociate and have someone over there. But I don't want that. I want real people. Not images on a screen. I don't want to go back to unchecked violent dissociating.
Every day you have to fight to not fall back in patterns of abuse. Every day you got hammered with abuse. There was no escape. Nobody helped. You have to fight back. Does anybody care? You never get a break. Either you fight back to maintain some sense of normalcy and sanity. Or you fall apart.
Does it feel like the world's gone insane? It's not my responsibility to single handedly save the world. If I could, that's great. But I can't. Instead, you feel like you're about six steps ahead of everybody else. It feels like the quality of many things keeps going downhill. So you do your best to see that and fight to keep some sense of sanity.
You don't want to fall apart. You have to fight back. Every day. Because you don't have a choice.
Showing posts with label Gabor Mate. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Gabor Mate. Show all posts
Monday, March 7, 2016
Thursday, February 25, 2016
Feeling Run Down
Another appointment today, and we talked about drug interaction with other stuff in your system. Now, being high risk for Type II diabetes, this means as little sugar as possible. Today I've had some to try and have some energy. But it's all interconnected.
I'm just trying to protect us.
I'm just trying to protect us.
Saturday, February 20, 2016
Focus
Another day of fighting symptoms. Adrenalin surges are getting worse. It take about 20 minutes to put my socks and shoes on. You have to focus really hard to have some sense of feeling in your feet. Then, no matter what, don't dissociate.
Lots of breaks. Then, back to it.
Lots of breaks. Then, back to it.
Friday, February 19, 2016
Trying to Focus
Catching up on things to do at home. Also, trying hard to not dissociate. Sometimes when you have moments of clarity, the thought hits for a second. What if I wasn't here? You don't have a death wish. The thought just comes to mind. Then, you have to fight hard to not get trapped in that cycle of flashbacks and dissociating.
We just try to protect ourselves. We also try to remember that our well being comes first. Not the other way around.
We just try to protect ourselves. We also try to remember that our well being comes first. Not the other way around.
Monday, February 15, 2016
Trying to Focus
Another appointment today which meant getting up REALLY EARLY to make it in time. After that, some shopping and then back home to do some workout. Now, we're trying to stay away from sugar as much as possible. But it's tough.
Flashbacks still happen. Body pain, anal pain, dissociating; they're all still there. When moments of clarity happen, you feel sad and abandoned. You can't save the world from all of the evil horrible people. But you try to protect yourself first.
Don't dissociate. Do something else. I don't want to disappear and not know where I am. You don't have a choice. You have to fight back.
Stay well.
Flashbacks still happen. Body pain, anal pain, dissociating; they're all still there. When moments of clarity happen, you feel sad and abandoned. You can't save the world from all of the evil horrible people. But you try to protect yourself first.
Don't dissociate. Do something else. I don't want to disappear and not know where I am. You don't have a choice. You have to fight back.
Stay well.
Wednesday, February 10, 2016
Don't Dissociate
Finally a little more energy today. I still have symptoms to deal with. But as much as possible I don't give into destructive dissociating. It only makes pain worse, not better. As for screening everything, that always has to happen to protect yourself. You see patterns and say why am I doing this? This is only making things worse. Do something else.
You still have to scream to try and get anger out without blacking out. You come home totally wiped out. But there's a sense of relief as well. As for other violently triggering stuff? It's not my job to monitor all of this crap 24/7. It's not.
Protect yourself.
You still have to scream to try and get anger out without blacking out. You come home totally wiped out. But there's a sense of relief as well. As for other violently triggering stuff? It's not my job to monitor all of this crap 24/7. It's not.
Protect yourself.
Friday, January 29, 2016
Sorry to Be Away for a While
How's your weekend looking? Sorry to be gone for a few days. I was so exhausted that it was two days of go out if necessary. Then, go back home and rest. Now, some nice decaf tea with lemon.
As for the other violently triggering garbage happening in the world, protect yourself as best you can. These days, I need a break after 30 seconds or so. Even with listening to tunes, at times it's too much stimulus. You need a break from it.
I used to have lots of destructive stuff to hide behind. I thought it would protect us from pain. But, it only made it worse. Now, we still struggle with denial. But it's not as severe as it used to be.
That doesn't mean that you don't have bad days when you're bombarded with pain and flashbacks. Also, thoughts:
How come we didn't fight back?
How come we didn't kill all three of the psycho rapists?
Why did we freeze?
How come we can't get victim compensation? These crimes don't "officially exist". Therefore, you're ineligible.
How come it feels like nobody wants anything to do with us? Not everybody's evil. So why does it still feel that way?
At times, you really struggle to try and find something good in all of your trauma history. We have no desire to hurt ourselves or anybody else. But those thoughts of what if we weren't here? Would anybody care still happen.
On bad days, you struggle to not literally feel like you're disappearing from the pain. Every day, non stop abuse. Nobody will listen to you or help you. You're telling the truth. But nobody's doing anything.
You don't want to hurt yourself or anybody else. But thoughts about getting a gun and killing everyone who treated you like shit are there. Threatening to kill the psycho rapists that got away with their crimes. You wouldn't kill them. But you just want to see a split second of terror in their eyes. Maybe that might come remotely close to what you're dealing with.
Do you still have pain every day? In my case, it's also heart disease (circulation pain). One minute you feel like you have some energy. Then, nothing.
You try deep breathing and other ways to feel grounded. But many times they don't work. What do you do then?
Anal pain. Circulation pain. Chest pain. I've tried some pain killers, but they didn't help. Now, I've asked one of my doctors about different herbs instead. We'll see what she says.
You can't control what others say and do. But your well being comes first. Then, save the world.
As for the other violently triggering garbage happening in the world, protect yourself as best you can. These days, I need a break after 30 seconds or so. Even with listening to tunes, at times it's too much stimulus. You need a break from it.
I used to have lots of destructive stuff to hide behind. I thought it would protect us from pain. But, it only made it worse. Now, we still struggle with denial. But it's not as severe as it used to be.
That doesn't mean that you don't have bad days when you're bombarded with pain and flashbacks. Also, thoughts:
How come we didn't fight back?
How come we didn't kill all three of the psycho rapists?
Why did we freeze?
How come we can't get victim compensation? These crimes don't "officially exist". Therefore, you're ineligible.
How come it feels like nobody wants anything to do with us? Not everybody's evil. So why does it still feel that way?
At times, you really struggle to try and find something good in all of your trauma history. We have no desire to hurt ourselves or anybody else. But those thoughts of what if we weren't here? Would anybody care still happen.
On bad days, you struggle to not literally feel like you're disappearing from the pain. Every day, non stop abuse. Nobody will listen to you or help you. You're telling the truth. But nobody's doing anything.
You don't want to hurt yourself or anybody else. But thoughts about getting a gun and killing everyone who treated you like shit are there. Threatening to kill the psycho rapists that got away with their crimes. You wouldn't kill them. But you just want to see a split second of terror in their eyes. Maybe that might come remotely close to what you're dealing with.
Do you still have pain every day? In my case, it's also heart disease (circulation pain). One minute you feel like you have some energy. Then, nothing.
You try deep breathing and other ways to feel grounded. But many times they don't work. What do you do then?
Anal pain. Circulation pain. Chest pain. I've tried some pain killers, but they didn't help. Now, I've asked one of my doctors about different herbs instead. We'll see what she says.
You can't control what others say and do. But your well being comes first. Then, save the world.
Tuesday, January 26, 2016
It's All Interconnected
Yet another day of fighting symptoms and trying to exercise as much as possible to burn off some trauma energy. Trauma is stored energy in various parts of your body (all the way down to a cellular level). Add to that trying to stay away from salt and sugar so you don't make it worse.
Even with doing that, we still struggle with trying not to dissociate. You have nothing to hide behind. Which means that at times you get hit harder with flashbacks. You scream and try to not black out. What else can you do?
You just want to have some sense of being grounded. But in the process, you don't want to fall apart.
Even with doing that, we still struggle with trying not to dissociate. You have nothing to hide behind. Which means that at times you get hit harder with flashbacks. You scream and try to not black out. What else can you do?
You just want to have some sense of being grounded. But in the process, you don't want to fall apart.
Thursday, January 21, 2016
Don't Be Drugged Out
Everybody has their own trauma history and factors involved in it. Everybody heals at different rates. Also, everyone has different treatment that they follow. Should you take medication or not? My view? If my life depends on it, that's one thing. But if not, my preference is don't take it. Do something else.
By trying to take less and not more, I feel that I've made more progress in dealing with my trauma history. Like the saying goes, the surest way to go to hell is to avoid your trauma history. Denial doesn't work. Being drugged out only makes it even harder. So why would you do that?
We still struggle with bad days in trying to get anger out. Blackouts still happen. Adrenalin surges still happen. Also body memory pain. You scream and try to not fall apart. The anal pain is body memory. The psycho rapist's penis with no condom is not inside your anus. But you still have to struggle with that.
Don't dissociate.
Do something else.
Dissociating will only make the pain worse.
You have to fight to keep some sense of being grounded. You don't have a choice. But you also feel scared at times in facing how horrible your trauma history has been. You really have to work to try and find some moments of happiness. You feel bombarded with pain, and don't know what to do.
Does this happen to you? Watch this.
By trying to take less and not more, I feel that I've made more progress in dealing with my trauma history. Like the saying goes, the surest way to go to hell is to avoid your trauma history. Denial doesn't work. Being drugged out only makes it even harder. So why would you do that?
We still struggle with bad days in trying to get anger out. Blackouts still happen. Adrenalin surges still happen. Also body memory pain. You scream and try to not fall apart. The anal pain is body memory. The psycho rapist's penis with no condom is not inside your anus. But you still have to struggle with that.
Don't dissociate.
Do something else.
Dissociating will only make the pain worse.
You have to fight to keep some sense of being grounded. You don't have a choice. But you also feel scared at times in facing how horrible your trauma history has been. You really have to work to try and find some moments of happiness. You feel bombarded with pain, and don't know what to do.
Does this happen to you? Watch this.
Friday, January 15, 2016
Don't Dissociate
Fighting hard to not slip and violently dissociate. No, I want to be with real people. I don't want to disappear and have no idea of where I am. Pain hits and you focus hard to protect yourself. You have no other choice.
I want to feel safe in my own home. Not dissociating for hours and having no idea of where I am, what time is it, or anything else.
I don't want to be scared.
I want to feel safe in my own home. Not dissociating for hours and having no idea of where I am, what time is it, or anything else.
I don't want to be scared.
Wednesday, January 13, 2016
Protect Yourself
Still struggling with a stomach virus that's slowing getting better. In the meantime, fight symptoms and try to not to dissociate.
My multiples at times want us to go back to dissociating. It protects us from pain. I try to say, no it doesn't. It makes it worse. At times we just sit and rock back and forth. Just to try and reassure them and me.
Time to check my mail.
My multiples at times want us to go back to dissociating. It protects us from pain. I try to say, no it doesn't. It makes it worse. At times we just sit and rock back and forth. Just to try and reassure them and me.
Time to check my mail.
Tuesday, January 12, 2016
How Could You Not Know?
Went to see one of my GP's today for several things. A stomach virus that won't go away. Also, her opinion about Risperdal. I'm not expecting perfection from doctors. But I am expecting that they would help me to consider all reputable options before I make a health decision.
For anyone who doesn't know, Risperdal is a SSRI anti-depressant that affects your dopamine and seratonin levels. It's commonly used for schizophrenia in adults. But sadly it's commonly used for little kids and for seniors who could be struggling with dementia or other problems.
Basically, she politely avoided the question. I'm an internist, not a psychiatrist. That's not my specialty, you need to talk to her, etc. As I was listening, other things came to mind:
Are you saying you don't know anything about it? How could you not know? The manufacturer has paid out over $3 billion in claims, and is still fighting lawsuits. It's in the news right now. The AMA knows about it. So how could you not know?
You want nothing to do with it. So that way you won't get sued.
Do any of these apply to her? Who knows. I've also talked to two other drug experts about it. Both have the same attitude. I'll try one more before I see the psychiatrist again.
When I do though, I've decided that I won't take it. Many of my psychosis symptoms are gone. So why should I? But having said that, this leads into bigger issues.
Who can you believe? It's not a game show. It's something that millions of people struggling try to deal with. Drugs (at least in the US) continue to be more expensive. Med tours from here to Canada continue to get the same drugs for a discount. Meanwhile, giant corporations continue to merge and look for new ways to make even more billions.
On the one hand you could say legally that's what they're supposed to do. They have a fiduciary duty to their board of directors and shareholders to make as much money as possible. What's wrong with that. That's how capitalism works. Gordon Gekko soundbite: greed, (for lack of a better word), is good.
That doesn't help millions who try to get help for various types of mental health problems. If you can find somewhere to go for help, are you relegated to 10 minutes per session with your therapist? How is anyone supposed to make any kind of progress in THAT system? As scary as that sounds, we all know that this exists and continues.
Can I singlehandedly stop all of the evil people out there that want to get rich no matter what? Unfortunately, no. That doesn't stop the fear that trauma survivors have (nobody helped me). Somebody has to protect others from being abused and then told to go away and die. ALL meds have side effects. Including death. And if you're stupid enough to take one (and too poor for a good solicitor), fuck off and die.
How do you deal with feeling abandoned and wanting to protect everyone who needs to be? While I can't do that, I feel good to be aware and to give a damn.
Stay safe.
For anyone who doesn't know, Risperdal is a SSRI anti-depressant that affects your dopamine and seratonin levels. It's commonly used for schizophrenia in adults. But sadly it's commonly used for little kids and for seniors who could be struggling with dementia or other problems.
Basically, she politely avoided the question. I'm an internist, not a psychiatrist. That's not my specialty, you need to talk to her, etc. As I was listening, other things came to mind:
Are you saying you don't know anything about it? How could you not know? The manufacturer has paid out over $3 billion in claims, and is still fighting lawsuits. It's in the news right now. The AMA knows about it. So how could you not know?
You want nothing to do with it. So that way you won't get sued.
Do any of these apply to her? Who knows. I've also talked to two other drug experts about it. Both have the same attitude. I'll try one more before I see the psychiatrist again.
When I do though, I've decided that I won't take it. Many of my psychosis symptoms are gone. So why should I? But having said that, this leads into bigger issues.
Who can you believe? It's not a game show. It's something that millions of people struggling try to deal with. Drugs (at least in the US) continue to be more expensive. Med tours from here to Canada continue to get the same drugs for a discount. Meanwhile, giant corporations continue to merge and look for new ways to make even more billions.
On the one hand you could say legally that's what they're supposed to do. They have a fiduciary duty to their board of directors and shareholders to make as much money as possible. What's wrong with that. That's how capitalism works. Gordon Gekko soundbite: greed, (for lack of a better word), is good.
That doesn't help millions who try to get help for various types of mental health problems. If you can find somewhere to go for help, are you relegated to 10 minutes per session with your therapist? How is anyone supposed to make any kind of progress in THAT system? As scary as that sounds, we all know that this exists and continues.
Can I singlehandedly stop all of the evil people out there that want to get rich no matter what? Unfortunately, no. That doesn't stop the fear that trauma survivors have (nobody helped me). Somebody has to protect others from being abused and then told to go away and die. ALL meds have side effects. Including death. And if you're stupid enough to take one (and too poor for a good solicitor), fuck off and die.
How do you deal with feeling abandoned and wanting to protect everyone who needs to be? While I can't do that, I feel good to be aware and to give a damn.
Stay safe.
Monday, January 11, 2016
Pain Is Flooding Out
It feels like all the pain in my trauma history is flooding out all at once. You try to focus and not feel like you're going to just vanish. You have to fight to keep some sense of being grounded. But the exhaustion is still there.
You're not insane. You're not going to snap. Despite that, you can't just sit and do nothing. Otherwise, you'll fall apart.
You're not insane. You're not going to snap. Despite that, you can't just sit and do nothing. Otherwise, you'll fall apart.
Sunday, January 10, 2016
Really Drained
Symptoms and fighting back. Don't dissociate and then black out. Try to focus and not have adrenalin surges. But they're still there.
Unless I have to go somewhere early, I try to eat breakfast and then go back to bed. Then, if you feel like you have some energy, then go on with the day. Despite that, it's still a struggle. You scream and try to not snap in two from anger.
But you have no other choice.
Unless I have to go somewhere early, I try to eat breakfast and then go back to bed. Then, if you feel like you have some energy, then go on with the day. Despite that, it's still a struggle. You scream and try to not snap in two from anger.
But you have no other choice.
Wednesday, January 6, 2016
Don't Get Eaten Alive by Anger
I've always tried to face my trauma history as best I can (without endangering myself). That being said, today's one of those severe anger days. Anger at those who laughed at me and treated me like shit. Those who couldn't be bothered to admit that I exist. Those who think I'm their worst nightmare (just for being a rape survivor).
I don't want to get a gun and kill all of them. But at times I do think about having a gun and defending myself. If not a gun, what's my weapon? I don't have to look behind me. I can sense that they're there. Everything feels heightened.
Some martial arts like karate are defensive. You counter your opponents' chi. Others like judo and tai chi use your opponents' momentum against them. Then you have Israeli haganah. In this, you strike first to kill. No hesitation. Even though the person behind me isn't physically attacking me, you can't just stand there and do nothing. You have to protect yourself.
I could get a gun and openly carry it where I live. But that would be really stupid. Every time I think about doing that, I have split second visions of killing myself.
Bad idea.
I have moments of clarity. But then really scary emptiness. Does anybody care?
I don't want to get a gun and kill all of them. But at times I do think about having a gun and defending myself. If not a gun, what's my weapon? I don't have to look behind me. I can sense that they're there. Everything feels heightened.
Some martial arts like karate are defensive. You counter your opponents' chi. Others like judo and tai chi use your opponents' momentum against them. Then you have Israeli haganah. In this, you strike first to kill. No hesitation. Even though the person behind me isn't physically attacking me, you can't just stand there and do nothing. You have to protect yourself.
I could get a gun and openly carry it where I live. But that would be really stupid. Every time I think about doing that, I have split second visions of killing myself.
Bad idea.
I have moments of clarity. But then really scary emptiness. Does anybody care?
Friday, August 14, 2015
Do You Ever Detoxify from Trauma?
Finally a day with no appointments. Instead, pick up a new med and then some PC questions for the tech support guy. The good news is that I was right in solutions. Sorry, but I can't be offline for two weeks. I do have an addictive personality. But is my PC use a problem? I don't think so.
Like any other trauma survivor, I'm trying to pay attention to my intuition and follow the right things. Do I really want to go back to alcoholism and other destructive stuff that only made pain worse? No. While everyone is different in their history, I'm struggling with lots of scary things.
It took me a long time to realize it. But one of the psycho rapists that got away with torture drugged me. I don't know what it was. But I do know when you feel like you have no control over you actions, some drug is causing that. Do I have any sympathy for someone like Bill Cosby (if all of the "allegations" against him are true)? No. He should do serious jail time with no chance of parole.
Why won't more people face the fact that he admitted to trying to use drugs to RAPE women? Because he's rich and powerful. And in our currently litigious society, you don't f**k with rich and powerful people. If they see a threat, they will do anything necessary to crush the threat.
Did anybody save me? No.
Did any cops use a rape testing kit (that later would have been lost for about twenty years)? No.
Have lots of people said you freak me out. Go away? Yes.
While I'm not rich and powerful, I deserve to be heard. The fact that I'm a rape survivor isn't the ONLY thing that defines me. But it is part of me. I have no control over what other horrible people say and do. Despite that, I will protect myself.
Do you have days where you feel like you're the only one that sees all of the hypocracy in the world? I do. It's not safe to look at anything. I have some days where I just want quiet. I don't want to feel threatened in my own home. Why? Because nobody else will protect you.
When do you completely detoxify from trauma? I have no idea. But I do know I'm doing the right things right now.
Like any other trauma survivor, I'm trying to pay attention to my intuition and follow the right things. Do I really want to go back to alcoholism and other destructive stuff that only made pain worse? No. While everyone is different in their history, I'm struggling with lots of scary things.
It took me a long time to realize it. But one of the psycho rapists that got away with torture drugged me. I don't know what it was. But I do know when you feel like you have no control over you actions, some drug is causing that. Do I have any sympathy for someone like Bill Cosby (if all of the "allegations" against him are true)? No. He should do serious jail time with no chance of parole.
Why won't more people face the fact that he admitted to trying to use drugs to RAPE women? Because he's rich and powerful. And in our currently litigious society, you don't f**k with rich and powerful people. If they see a threat, they will do anything necessary to crush the threat.
Did anybody save me? No.
Did any cops use a rape testing kit (that later would have been lost for about twenty years)? No.
Have lots of people said you freak me out. Go away? Yes.
While I'm not rich and powerful, I deserve to be heard. The fact that I'm a rape survivor isn't the ONLY thing that defines me. But it is part of me. I have no control over what other horrible people say and do. Despite that, I will protect myself.
Do you have days where you feel like you're the only one that sees all of the hypocracy in the world? I do. It's not safe to look at anything. I have some days where I just want quiet. I don't want to feel threatened in my own home. Why? Because nobody else will protect you.
When do you completely detoxify from trauma? I have no idea. But I do know I'm doing the right things right now.
Monday, March 30, 2015
Trying to Stay Grounded
Right now is a real struggle to not dissociate. I spend a lot of time trying to focus on solid things or tactile sensations. Something cold. Walking on carpet in bare feet. Always live streaming content to have something to focus on. But it's also a real struggle to screen everything.
If I don't have to go somewhere, many times I just stay home and focus on what's around me. I want to feel safe in my own home. I don't want to be bombarded with pain. Because many times you are. You can't just sit bak and do nothing. You have to fight back.
Sometimes I'm so wiped out that I just sit and do nothing. You just want to feel safe, and not always being attacked.
Nightmares still happen. At other times, there's nothing. This is your system taking a break? I'm not sure.
Screen everything. Because weird triggering stuff comes out of nowhere. You have to protect yourself.
Have a good day. Also, more links coming soon.
If I don't have to go somewhere, many times I just stay home and focus on what's around me. I want to feel safe in my own home. I don't want to be bombarded with pain. Because many times you are. You can't just sit bak and do nothing. You have to fight back.
Sometimes I'm so wiped out that I just sit and do nothing. You just want to feel safe, and not always being attacked.
Nightmares still happen. At other times, there's nothing. This is your system taking a break? I'm not sure.
Screen everything. Because weird triggering stuff comes out of nowhere. You have to protect yourself.
Have a good day. Also, more links coming soon.
Tuesday, March 24, 2015
I Don't Want to Feel Drugged Out
Put in some time today researching online about psycosis symptoms connected to extreme trauma. It's still a struggle to deal with trying not to hallucinate. Sometimes it's don't hallucinate or dissociate at the same time.
I'm on one anti depressant. Do I want to go on others? Considering the possible side effects, right now no. It's bizarre to me that some drug company will actually run ads that say death is a possible side effect. That's an acceptable risk?
Since the healthy thing to do is to try and face your trauma history head on, why would you take something that gets in the way of that? Sometimes I just stay home and turn everything off to try and have some relief from pain. I just want to feel safe. Also, as long as I try to keep my p/h levels balanced, it helps to a certain degree to deal with symptoms.
I'm really struggling with how severe my symptoms have been and continue to be.
I'm on one anti depressant. Do I want to go on others? Considering the possible side effects, right now no. It's bizarre to me that some drug company will actually run ads that say death is a possible side effect. That's an acceptable risk?
Since the healthy thing to do is to try and face your trauma history head on, why would you take something that gets in the way of that? Sometimes I just stay home and turn everything off to try and have some relief from pain. I just want to feel safe. Also, as long as I try to keep my p/h levels balanced, it helps to a certain degree to deal with symptoms.
I'm really struggling with how severe my symptoms have been and continue to be.
Saturday, March 21, 2015
I'm Not Crazy
Another night of nightmares and no sleep. I got hit by a car. But then, I'm not sure. Am I dead? Or, am I still alive? People still attack me and try to kill me. Everybody's armed, and you have to fight back. You can't just sit back and do nothing.
When was the last time I got some sleep? I can't remember.
Everything has to be screened. On bad days, I can't watch TV. I can't listen to anything online. I just sit and say, I just want peace and quiet. I don't want to be assaulted by pain. As much as possible, don't dissociate. Do something else.
The severity of your symptoms is equal to the severity of your trauma history.
I'm not crazy.
I'm not crazy.
I'm not crazy.
How do you cope with your fear?
When was the last time I got some sleep? I can't remember.
Everything has to be screened. On bad days, I can't watch TV. I can't listen to anything online. I just sit and say, I just want peace and quiet. I don't want to be assaulted by pain. As much as possible, don't dissociate. Do something else.
The severity of your symptoms is equal to the severity of your trauma history.
I'm not crazy.
I'm not crazy.
I'm not crazy.
How do you cope with your fear?
Monday, March 9, 2015
You Can't Just Sit Back and Do Nothing
Symptoms are a non-stop battle. You can't dissociate. You fight really hard to keep a sense of balance. But it's always there. Heart disease is also there too.
You get bombarded with sick and twisted thoughts. Even though that happens, you hold onto that you're not crazy. You're not psycotic. What feels like psycotic symptoms is part of ultra severe trauma.
You're not crazy. You're not insane. You're trying to deal with severe symptoms as best you can.
You get bombarded with sick and twisted thoughts. Even though that happens, you hold onto that you're not crazy. You're not psycotic. What feels like psycotic symptoms is part of ultra severe trauma.
You're not crazy. You're not insane. You're trying to deal with severe symptoms as best you can.
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