How Could You Not Know?

Went to see one of my GP's today for several things. A stomach virus that won't go away. Also, her opinion about Risperdal. I'm not expecting perfection from doctors. But I am expecting that they would help me to consider all reputable options before I make a health decision.

For anyone who doesn't know, Risperdal is a SSRI anti-depressant that affects your dopamine and seratonin levels. It's commonly used for schizophrenia in adults. But sadly it's commonly used for little kids and for seniors who could be struggling with dementia or other problems.

Basically, she politely avoided the question. I'm an internist, not a psychiatrist. That's not my specialty, you need to talk to her, etc. As I was listening, other things came to mind:

Are you saying you don't know anything about it? How could you not know? The manufacturer has paid out over $3 billion in claims, and is still fighting lawsuits. It's in the news right now. The AMA knows about it. So how could you not know?

You want nothing to do with it. So that way you won't get sued.

Do any of these apply to her? Who knows. I've also talked to two other drug experts about it. Both have the same attitude. I'll try one more before I see the psychiatrist again.

When I do though, I've decided that I won't take it. Many of my psychosis symptoms are gone. So why should I? But having said that, this leads into bigger issues.

Who can you believe? It's not a game show. It's something that millions of people struggling try to deal with. Drugs (at least in the US) continue to be more expensive. Med tours from here to Canada continue to get the same drugs for a discount. Meanwhile, giant corporations continue to merge and look for new ways to make even more billions.

On the one hand you could say legally that's what they're supposed to do. They have a fiduciary duty to their board of directors and shareholders to make as much money as possible. What's wrong with that. That's how capitalism works. Gordon Gekko soundbite: greed, (for lack of a better word), is good.

That doesn't help millions who try to get help for various types of mental health problems. If you can find somewhere to go for help, are you relegated to 10 minutes per session with your therapist? How is anyone supposed to make any kind of progress in THAT system? As scary as that sounds, we all know that this exists and continues.

Can I singlehandedly stop all of the evil people out there that want to get rich no matter what? Unfortunately, no. That doesn't stop the fear that trauma survivors have (nobody helped me). Somebody has to protect others from being abused and then told to go away and die. ALL meds have side effects. Including death. And if you're stupid enough to take one (and too poor for a good solicitor), fuck off and die.

How do you deal with feeling abandoned and wanting to protect everyone who needs to be? While I can't do that, I feel good to be aware and to give a damn.

Stay safe.