It's the weekend. Cook, clean, back stuff up on the hard drive. Have a snack. Then, onto other stuff.
There's also lots of anger and pain as well. Body pain and trying to not black out as you scream to not lose sensation in your legs and other areas. Do we have MS? No. However, you have to do lots of massage throughout the day to maintain a smooth flow of energy. On the other hand, we're still sticking to our no caffeine/as little sugar as possible diet. Maybe these are symptoms of withdrawl?
Screen everything and protect yourself. Trust your intution. If it's screaming something's bad, pay attention. Odds are you're right.
Showing posts with label snacks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label snacks. Show all posts
Saturday, December 1, 2012
Saturday, November 24, 2012
Day 3 of the Diet
Staying in and staying warm tonight. Some nice herbal tea and a tiny amount of peanut butter.
Why tiny? Because we're still sticking to the holistic diet. Which means the tiniest amounts have big effects on our system. We found a website that basically says that for a long time our acidic diet literally poisoned our system. Now, it's detoxifying and trying to regain balance.
Makes sense.
This also means that everything else is flooding out. In between some moments of clarity there's still body pain and other symptoms. It's like you don't know where you are. Then for a split second you do. Then, you feel lost again.
Now, imagine going thru that for years with no sense of relief.
NOBODY told me about any of this. Nobody ever asked, were you raped? Is there a history of sex abuse here? You feel at times like, do I have to cure myself?
Adrenalin surges still happen. You feel at times like you're losing sensation in different parts of your body. This means that many times lots of massage can help to bring feeling back. There's also a history of other medical problems.
I feel that it's all connected.
You scream. You fight to survive and not black out. Along with that, you're eating and drinking tons of junk food. Naturally that only makes the pressure worse.
Now, do that for a really long time and fight to not lose hope that maybe somebody will care.
You have to fight to survive. Can you trust anybody? Will anybody listen? Or, will everybody treat you like s**t? What kind of toll does that take on you?
We just want some sense of balance.
Why tiny? Because we're still sticking to the holistic diet. Which means the tiniest amounts have big effects on our system. We found a website that basically says that for a long time our acidic diet literally poisoned our system. Now, it's detoxifying and trying to regain balance.
Makes sense.
This also means that everything else is flooding out. In between some moments of clarity there's still body pain and other symptoms. It's like you don't know where you are. Then for a split second you do. Then, you feel lost again.
Now, imagine going thru that for years with no sense of relief.
NOBODY told me about any of this. Nobody ever asked, were you raped? Is there a history of sex abuse here? You feel at times like, do I have to cure myself?
Adrenalin surges still happen. You feel at times like you're losing sensation in different parts of your body. This means that many times lots of massage can help to bring feeling back. There's also a history of other medical problems.
I feel that it's all connected.
You scream. You fight to survive and not black out. Along with that, you're eating and drinking tons of junk food. Naturally that only makes the pressure worse.
Now, do that for a really long time and fight to not lose hope that maybe somebody will care.
You have to fight to survive. Can you trust anybody? Will anybody listen? Or, will everybody treat you like s**t? What kind of toll does that take on you?
We just want some sense of balance.
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