Focus

As you well know, right now there's lots of triggering stuff happening. We won't mention any specifics. Instead, just a suggestion. Unless you have to deal with this, don't. How valuable is your peace of mind (regardless of where you are in your overall healing)? Right now, we stay away from as much as possible. It doesn't mean we're not aware or we don't care. Instead, our protection comes first. If you don't prioritize, how can you be effective?

Break it down into tiny splits. How do I literally go from my desk to my kitchen? How do I get in and out of the crowded store without attacking anyone? How do I keep my balance so I don't hurt myself? It's only right (in my opinion) on bad days to try and protect yourself and others.

One key right now? Facing the reality of how much untreated trauma is still there. You don't have the old stuff to hide behind anymore. Which means on some days you can barely move. It takes forever to try and focus and feel like you have some energy to do anything. You don't want to end up burned out, angry and a nightmare forever. On the other hand, you also have to fight to keep some sense of balance. Your mind/body connection is real. Chi is real. In our view, pay attention to that. Just in our case, taking only meds and cognitive (talk only) therapy doesn't work.

Keep in mind it's not your fault. I'm telling the truth. That's all that matters.

Brownies, Tea and a Sunny Day

It's the weekend. Cook, clean, back stuff up on the hard drive. Have a snack. Then, onto other stuff.

There's also lots of anger and pain as well. Body pain and trying to not black out as you scream to not lose sensation in your legs and other areas. Do we have MS? No. However, you have to do lots of massage throughout the day to maintain a smooth flow of energy. On the other hand, we're still sticking to our no caffeine/as little sugar as possible diet. Maybe these are symptoms of withdrawl?

Screen everything and protect yourself. Trust your intution. If it's screaming something's bad, pay attention. Odds are you're right.

Back to Balance

Off to cover more bases today. We took a break yesterday because we were just worn out. No leads at the moment, and what do we do now? Plus, lots of symptoms were flaring up as now.

Today, we're using more acupuncture massage to try and have better chi flow. Better flow means better balance. Despair is still there. Then again, what else can you do?

Cover more bases and create as many opportunities as possible. Not perfection. But just balance.