Trying Not to Feel Overwhelmed

Tomorrow, it's the first appointment with the new therapist. In the meantime, lots of bases to cover and trying to keep a sense of focus.

I still don't know who the third psycho pedophile was who serially raped me. Despite that and all the horrible stuff that continues to happen, I'm telling the truth. Another aspect of this is massive denial in the "immediate family". It's like others know that there's a problem, but NOBODY will dare say that publically.

Your father is a bully who uses money as a weapon to try and intimidate and control people. Your mother thinks that being raped by a pedophile is "normal sexual experimentation".

Are these people mentally ill, sociopaths, or something else?

You can be in massive denial and try to manipulate all you want. That doesn't change the FACT that I was raped by three pedophiles, and nobody did anything about it. Now, you have to live with it. Not me.

Staying In and Warm

How's your week been? Sorry for the gap, but it's been rough.

I'm still on benefits (got cut but for a longer period of time. It balances out?). Symptoms are still there. Lately, despair and feeling abandoned. I'm still covering all the bases I can. Having said that, at times you just sit and don't know what to do.

How do you cope? It's not my fault. I know I'm telling the truth when I talk about being a rape survivor. If others have a problem with that, that's their problem. Being a rape survivor is part of but not the defining thing about me.

Also, I'm not a failure. Keep going.