Capitalism, Protecting Yourself and Other Thoughts

Whether you're a long time reader here or just starting, we have a content rule that we try to stick to. No progressive political content UNLESS it has something to do with dealing with trauma. Which means you have to know the rules first before you can break them when necessary. This is one of those times.

If you look at a lot of TV, listen to the radio or online content, there's a lot of sick stuff out there. In my opinion, you have to screen everything because, nobody else will do it for you. I've heard that many trauma survivors have a sharp sense of intuition. It's like being five steps ahead of the rest of the world. You know what's going to be said and how everyone will respond. Why then bother to deal with it and possibly dissociate for days? Lately I've seen that happen. I'm not always right. However, my percentage is pretty good.

While I can't control what Obama and other rich and powerful people say and do, I can take steps to protect myself. Set boundaries. Don't buy, watch or read something. Regular TV viewership is down overall by about 20%. Why is that? Maybe it's because like Spike Lee says, show me something original that's NOT reality TV  or a remake. Why pay for something that's going to trigger you and cause problems?

Is it your responsibility as a trauma survivor to save every other trauma survivor? If I could, I would. However, it doesn't work like that. My protection comes first. I can't take on my pain and everyone else's.

Not all, but in many cases, if you want someone to listen to you, cut into their profit margin. If you send an email, odds are you won't get a real response. On the other hand, if you manage to cut someone's profit margin by say 40%, suddenly they have time for you.

Is that "capitalism", or something else? I don't know. I prefer to call it a positive approach.

Famous Name Here

Do you feel like you're being heard as you go along in your healing? I still screen everything, because much of the time I feel like I'm about five steps ahead of the rest of the world. I know everything that's going to be said, and what the responses will be. Having said that, why bother even looking at it?

While celebrities speak out on a wide range of things (which is their right), also keep several things in mind.

Will speaking out cost them their job(s)?
Will they go bankrupt trying to get the proper treatment if they're dealing with a history of untreated trauma?
Will they be denied health coverage because this trauma is a "pre-existing" condition? Or, will their health provider not have the nerve to deny (famous name here) coverage, and then risk the public backlash?

Not being a celebrity and not working at the moment, if I went public, I could have serious problems. If you're an employer, would you knowingly hire someone with PTSD if you knew ahead of time that they had it? Forget about there are various anti-discrimination laws and other legal stuff. This is daily reality.

If no major health carrier will cover you, you could possibly get low-income coverage. Then again, if you make too much "income" that's gone. Then what do you do?

If a celebrity uses their "fame" to draw attention to an issue, is it exposing the issue or them versus some other famous name? Not always, but too often it turns into a battle of "names", instead of dealing with a serious problem. If you take the time to complain, the MSM says if it trends it leads. We don't make the news. We just go with what gets ratings.

What do you do then?

That's one reason why I don't watch regular TV right now. When was the last time I bought a MSM newspaper or magazine? I can't remember. The quality continues to go down. And various "experts" continue to be mystified why that's happening.

Then again, that's not my responsibility. Dealing with my own healing is hard enough.

One View on the Steubenville Rape Verdict

Our regular readers here know that normally we don't get into progressive political stuff UNLESS it deals directly with trauma and helping survivors in some way. Today it's time to break that rule and talk about what's a growing international story.

In Steubenville, Ohio two high school football players have been found guilty of raping a 16-year old high school girl. Despite that, some in the MSM are questioning the verdict. Some seem to have an attitude of was this the correct decision? Is this really legally rape, or something else? Others bring up the small town environment. Like that's an excuse in some way to rape someone?

Naturally as this story spreads, more are talking about it thru various social media. Several apparently mean well and are making valid points about way to change current attitudes in society about what is rape and what isn't. However, for whatever reason there are others that just don't get it.

With that in mind, let's talk about several points that NOBODY will touch.

This happened in a small town. What does that mean? Just because high school football is one of the BIG things there, it's okay to blow off some steam and rape a 16 year old?

Stereotypes:
She asked for it. Look at how she was dressed and how she acted.

Other points.
It's a "conspiracy" to frame two innocent high schoolers. REALLY? Where's the proof of that?

Just because you get drunk it's then okay to say F**K YEAH! RAPE THE S**T OUT OF HER! If you don't believe this happens, check the latest You Tube clips.

What if it was two guys convicted of raping a 16 year old guy? Would the MSM, cable news shows or any talk shows anywhere give this 1/100th the megahype coverage they've given it? Think back to Penn State and the Sandusky case. He goes to jail and then what happens? Paterno's family commissions an "independent" inquiry. The indirect message? Screw everybody that dared to trash Joe Paterno's name. He was GOD at Penn State. And this is how you say thanks for everything he did?

Now, tell that to the innocent kids that Sandusky raped the s**t out of. Tell that to the 16 year old girl that got raped.

Some facts that people are either missing, or deliberately can't be bothered with:

Both women and men get raped.
Straight men get raped by other straight men.
Innocent little kids (both boys and girls) get raped by both men and women.
Men get raped by women.
Gay, lesbian and LGBT people get raped.

One part of the problem is that many people refuse to deal with the previous paragraph. If it's a woman getting raped, that fits into a nice neat soundbite. If it doesn't, f**k it. We don't have time for it.

Right. Which means that all of these other people that DIDN'T ASK TO BE RAPED just don't count?
If your refuse to deal with all aspects of this problem, you're actually making it worse.

Am I the only one that sees that?

I'm a guy rape survivor who still has PTSD symptoms. This is after being treated by a therapist and seeing three counselors. There is no magic cure for this. Many mental health sources that I trust say that it never completely goes away.

Does anyone in the corporate MSM think about it? No. What's more important? Actually doing your job? Or, just thinking in soundbites and following the "we are running a business" mentality?

What's one of the underlying reasons for trying to let these football players off the hook? Because much of society can't deal with the fact that guys get raped. If a woman gets raped, that's one thing. But if a guy does, f**k it. I don't wanna deal with that s**t.

And all of these "experts" wonder why more rape survivors don't come forward and report what is a serious crime. Is pedophilia just a "psychological condition", or a serious crime?

Apprently, these are all points that much of society just can't be bothered with. Maybe that's the saddest part of all in this.

Herbal Tea and Then Some

Some latenight NBA highlights as we wind down after a long day. That and some herbal tea.

How are your PTSD symptoms? Here, we still have everything. The hardest ones lately are dissociating and adrenalin surges. We've been off refined sugar now for almost a week, and at times it's harder to focus. Despite that, we still stick to meditation, setting boundaries and screening everything. It has to be done.

Don't misunderstand. It's not a matter of perfection. 24/7 Zen bliss. It's a matter of having a sense of balance.

We stay away from triggering stuff as much as possible. In job hunting, at times that can be tough to do. You have to check out everything and everybody. You can find out quite a bit, if you know where to look. Why? Because just blindly cold calling some business and assuming that everything's great is over. It's a matter of finding a job AND protecting your health (both physical and mental).

We take lots of breaks and turn everything off. Drop off business cards with potential job leads. You help me and I'll help you. Don't wait for opportunities to come to you. Be as proactive and balanced as you can.

Having said that, how do you cope with despair? The "fiscal cliff" will wipe out civilization as we know it. Ok, maybe not THAT bad. How do you keep your sense of balance when it may feel like the world can't be bothered to deal with you? It's YOUR problem to fix. Now, please go away.

How do you cope with that?

All normal human beings are not light switches. Instantly deal with horrible trauma and then move on as if nothing has happened? It doesn't work like that. The current 24/7 soundbite newscycle that we live in says it does.Then again, how many of them have had horrible trauma to deal with? If a celebrity comes out about being a trauma survivor, odds are they won't lose a job, their savings or their home. They won't lose health coverage. Essentially, the world will buy their book and life will go on.

Now, if I come out, I could have all kinds of problems. Finding the next job. Health coverage? To some firms, rape and PTSD are "pre-existing" conditions. Have you ever heard of a rape testing kit being used for a guy survivor? I haven't.

At times we have to fight the urge to singlehandedly save the world. We alone can stop all the pyschos out there. Unfortunately, that's not true. Also, much of the current law enforcement system doesn't help, either. Have you been blown off or yelled at by some cop or therapist because you were inconveniencing them by having the nerve to try and get help for something that's not your fault? I have.

You have to protect yourself. You deserve to be heard. Why? Because you do, that's why.