Friday, January 6, 2017

Lots of Pain

You can barely get any sleep at all at night. Then, when you wake up, you're in incredible pain in your lower back. I have trouble standing up and trying to focus my chi so I can at least move and shift my weight. I try to eat some breakfast, and just sitting is painful. Then I take a shower and do stretching with hot water spraying over my spine. This helps to increase chi flow so then you feel like you can actually move more. You exercise and try to strengthen your core. But the pain is still there.

My GP says I have arthritis in my right knee. What's causing the lower back, hip and leg pain? I think it's my backed up trauma pain flooding out. Add to that circulation pain, my PTSD symptoms and heart problems.

But despite all of that, I did nothing wrong. I'm a rape survivor who has lots of health problems that I feel are interconnected. I'm just trying to protect our well being. We can't singlehandedly stop Trump. But you do your best to protect your well being.

Flashbacks happen and painful dissociating. Stimulants make dissociating worse. So we try to stay away from those as much as possible.

Coming up. More tests and appointments. We just want to feel safe.

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