Trying to keep some sense of focus as we fight symptoms and to not dissociate. But the pain is always there. The exhaustion of trying to focus and not have a relapse. It's just like any addict relapsing. Why do you use? To escape pain. Why do people dissociate? To escape pain. But denial only makes things worse.
You can't save the world all by yourself. The body pain never goes away. It's always there. You have to constantly fight back. I have anal pain. But the psycho rapist isn't raping us. We scream in pain. But they're not there.
Even though they're not there, that doesn't matter. You can't just sit back and do nothing. You have to fight back.
You have to protect yourself.
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