Bombarded with Pain

You try to protect yourself by setting boundaries and doing other positive things. But despite that, you still get bombarded with pain.

Torture flashbacks
Circulation pain
Exhaustion
Nightmares
1-2 hours of sleep every night (if you're lucky)

What else can you do? Denial only makes things worse. Dissociating makes things worse. You have to protect your well being. Because you want to feel safe.

Sometimes you just turn everything off because it's too much. You won't hurt yourself or anybody else. You have to protect yourself.

Lots of tests, xray and more to deal with right now. So far so good.