Kind of a careful day. Careful in the sense of trying to keep a sense of being grounded. Despite that, I still open my eyes and have to really focus hard to try and wake up and not feel like I'm dissociating. Then, how do I get out of bed and walk to my kitchen without adrenalin surges and hallucinations happening? You scream and desperately hold onto solid things.
Then in the kitchen, drink something to help you focus. Nothing with sugar, because that makes it worse. Now, how do I make breakfast without blacking out? After that, you sit and watch non threatening content on TV, and hold onto solid things. On some days, you just stay home and focus on trying to be grounded. By the end of the day, you're so wiped out you can't do anything.
Now, imagine this a daily routine with no break. Ever.
At times, we're really scared. But what else can you do?
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wendy
www.n8fan.net
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