Unless you have to look at it, stay away as much as possible from all triggering stuff. My intuition is screaming it's only going to make you dissociate. Why does it seem like almost everything is dangerous right now? I'm not sure.
Aside from personal power and profit, there's the old MSM "if it bleeds, it leads". It's one thing to say that if you're a managing editor. Then again, if you're a trauma survivor trying to protect your well being, it's something else.
Last night was another rough night of violent dissociating. As your system stays cleaner, more scary realizations happen. Which also means that you have to work really hard to try and keep some sense of balance.
If you don't, who else is going to do it for you?
What else can you do? Try to keep some a sense of positive focus. It's okay to work hard and keep a balance between work and after work. One key that I'm worried about is not turning into some burned out cynical monster, because of being a rape survivor.
If you feel the urge to dissociate, do something else that's positive instead. To me, it's just like a junkie shooting up. They think that will give them some relief from pain. In reality, it only makes it worse.
I don't want to disappear and not know where I am for literally days at a time. Take things in tiny segments. Do something else, and see what happens.
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment