You Have to Protect Yourself

Some time to focus before it's back to covering bases.

At times, you almost feel like you're going to black out as you try to focus. You don't know where you are, and grounding doesn't work. You scream and fight the urge to either throw stuff thru the window, or jump out of the window. You can't stit back and do nothing. Keep in mind it's fight all of this stuff, and do everything else you have to.

Do you still have trapped body memory? Does every other person feel like a threat? We go someplace, and at the intersection it feels like downtown Kabul. Can you trust anyone? Is everyone you see around you a homicidal rapist who's going to attack and then kill you? You have to protect yourself. In a store, is anyplace or anyone NOT a threat?

When we have to, we turn everything off and just go for a walk. Sit on the balcony and look at the skyline. Screen everything. We still feel like we're about five steps ahead of the rest of the world. Am I the only one who sees this? It's like seeing the next plot twist in a movie ten minutes before it happens. Why did I pay to see this?

Protect yourself at all costs.