Today, a real mix of stuff. Had two job interviews, but didn't get either opening. Lots of emptiness today. You cover different things, but at times you also feel almost paralyzed. It feels like you're about 4 steps ahead of the rest of the world. What's the point of commenting when you know everything that will happen?
Which means a break today for a while. Be aware of what you can control and what you can't. If necessary, turn it off and do something else.
Also, the emptiness (a step up from offing yourself) means that you're not "abnormal". We really don't want another nervous breakdown because of being raped. Having said that, at times it's heard to find and lock onto positive stuff. At really bad moments, we just sit and listen to what's around us. Fight the negative loop of you suck, you're pathetic, and all the rest of it.
Lots of triggering stuff everywhere. Do you really have to deal with this?
A little more tea and maybe one more cookie. Then, back to the job leads.
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