Let's Talk About Dissociating

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A lot of people talk about dissociating. However, maybe you're not sure what that means. Let's explain whether you're a trauma survivor or a family member or friend of someone who is.

Dissociating is basically disconnecting when stress builds up. The range can be mild from normal daydreaming to severe when being attacked. At either end, this is perfectly normal. If you have no way to relieve stress, how would you survive? You wouldn't.

In my case, I can now sit and not dissociate for almost 30 seconds. It's taken me years to be able to reach this point. Most of the time I've felt like I had to cure myself. Nobody else had time to listen or to care. Just go away and fix it.

You can't sit back. You can't do nothing. You have to fight to focus, or feel like you'll disappear.

Why was it so severe for so long? Because of the horror of being raped to two psychos. Then, not being taken seriously or treated in any way. Imagine breaking your leg and not going to a doctor for about ten years. Not likely you'd do that. Yet in my case, NOBODY listened. Nobody asked the right kinds of questions. Not one person ever asked, were you sexually abused?

I know I'm not abnormal in any way. Having said that, I still can't sit for more than a minute without dissociating. It's like having a boom box on for 24/7, and you can't turn it off. Meds won't help. To me, unless you have to take them, that's only a band aid. It's not treating the underlying causes of your problems.

At times, I'm scared and don't know what to do. Will anyone ever pay attention or take me seriously? Will anyone ever give me any reassuring contact of any type? Only one person has ever done that.
How would you deal with that?