Face Your History

As best you can, face your trauma history head on. UNLESS it endangers you in any way. When  we do, there's nothing to hide behind. The pain is always there. You're one step short of killing yourself. You'll never do it. But the despair is there.

You just try to stick with we're not abnormal in any way. Your symptoms are a reflection of your trauma history. We're following the right things.

Protect yourself.

Fight to Not Dissociate

The car accident happened two days ago. Nobody got hurt and now I'm driving a rental as my car gets fixed. But symptoms are still there.

Being in tight spaces is difficult. Flashbacks happen when you least expect it. Don't dissociate. No matter what.

Protect yourself as best you can.

Trying to Stay Grounded

A long day with symptoms, pain and trying to protect myself. It feels like you have nothing to hide behind. But that's a good thing.

No matter what, don't dissociate. Protect yourself.

Face Your Trauma History Head On

Another day of battling symptoms and feeling like you're on the edge of something really horrible. You won't hurt yourself or anyone else. But you have nothing to hide behind.

Ever heard of Romeo Dallaire? He was a Canadian Army Colonel who was in command off the UN contingent in Rwanda when their massacre happened. Since then, he tried to kill himself four times and was diagnosed with horribly severe PTSD. Now with treatment he's relatively stable. But the symptoms will always be there.

There is no cure for PTSD. Triggers are everywhere and can happen at any time. You many not have any desire to hurt yourself or someone else. Then, that can change in a split second.

You know you're not a monster. You know it's not your fault. But that pain will always be there.

How do you cope? Try to face it head on, unless it endangers you in some way. Like all PTSD patients, I struggle with really horrible stuff every day. I know it's not my fault. But the pain will always be there.

You don't want to hurt anybody. You just want to feel safe.

Listen to Tiny Things

Fight symptoms and don't set yourself up to dissociate and black out. We can never get any real sleep at night. This means struggling during the night and then staying in bed till we can focus and finally get into the day.

You're constantly fighting exhaustion. You're also can't sit back and do nothing. At times, you feel like you're detoxifing and can barely move.

You just want to feel safe.

Detoxifing? Or Something Else?

We're really trying hard to stay away from salt and sugar as much as possible. You can't go 100 percent organic. But you do your best.

That being said, I never get very much sleep these days. This means always feeling run down during the day. Trying to keep the diet healthy helps to a certain degree in dealing with PTSD symptoms. But they're still there.

Set boundaries and try to protect yourself. At times I have no TV days. Sometimes, just no noise. I've thought about trying to go to some retreat somewhere. What about moving to one and being able to walk on the beach or go run? Sometimes I just sit and try to focus my chi. But it's always a battle.

Protect yourself.

Protect Yourself

Fight symptoms all day long. Stay away from salt and sugar as much as possible. Pay attention to small things in how you feel. Set boundaries and if necessary, turn everything off.

I know it's not my fault. But you still feel paralyzed. Does this ever go away? No. Then again, I'm doing the right things to protect my well being.

Don't dissociate. Do something else. Protect yourself.