Today's like a bad smog day. Triggering stuff is everywhere you look. Everything has to be screened as you try to protect your well being. Does it feel at times like the quality level (for lack of a better phrase) of everything is going downhill? You can't singlehandedly save the world. But as you stay aware, you're bombarded with symptoms and pain.
Torture flashbacks still happen. No one comes into the room to save you. Nobody produces a rape testing kit. You don't have a death wise. But the pain never goes away.
You can;t let your guard down. If you do, threats are everywhere. It's not a matter of letting the psycho rapists control your life. Just the opposite. You have to face your trauma history head on as best you can. It's not being a "professional patient". Denial will only make things worse.
Other people say and do horrible things. They have to live with the consequences of that. Not us.
We're not strange.
We're not weird.
We're not a freak.
We don't have a death wish.
We're not a threat to anyone.
You have to fight back. You can't just sit back and "go with your feelings".
At times we just curl up and rock back and forth. You just want to feel safe. What happens when almost no one tries to give you a reassuring hug and say I'm sorry you were rapped AND actually mean it? What kind of long term psychological effects does that have on someone?
Protect your well being.
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