A Lot All at Once

Sorry to be away for a while. However, it's been a hectic week.

I found the new fulltime job, and it started okay. Then almost two weeks later, the boss called, but didn't leave a voice mail. Bad sign. Two days later, I went back to work (knowing that business has been slow), and the store hours had been cut. Then, the boss called back and said I was laid off. The store manager (who the boss said she had told) had no idea.

Since then it's been a mix. Pick up the last check. Get two reference letters. Cover bases with social services. Deal with severe body pain from body memory of being raped. There's also not wanting to have to go back to borrowing money and losing control over my life.

If the job(s) aren't here but elsewhere, how do I get there without having to borrow money and losing control?

I can't live like that. Feeling like you're literally dependent on someone else for everything.

Body pain at times is almost debilitating. I'm doing meditation, Tai-chi, and sticking to my holistic diet. But the pain is still there.

I start with the new counselor this week. More as it happens.