Happy 2011 to our global audience. Some of you already are in that. So if you're east of New Zealand, try not to give too much away about what's coming up.
Keeping your balance these days? For us, it's a matter of keeping in mind we're not responsible for what others say and do. The best thing to protect ourselves is to just concentrate on keeping our positive balance. Limit contact with triggering people as much as possible (if it's not possible to just cut them off). You have your bad days with that. Then again, what else can you do?
NOTE: Some of you are probably asking, just how many countries are you read in? Naturally, you don't have clearance for all of that information. However, we can tell you that it's about 32 countries. We're everywhere except in Africa and some parts of Asia. Our latest readers are in the Caribbean and some new ones in the U.K.
We don't have ads or sell anything here. In almost three years we've stuck to that policy. Can you name one other blog that does that?
In return, we only ask one thing. Link us everywhere and everyway you can without hurting your overall healing. Please text or email others about us. The mobile device market is still one of the fastest growing ones globally. Let's tap into that.
Use you tools as creatively as you can. Which means that the Really Rich Powers that Be will have to possibly deal with less money. They can deal with it.
Happy 2011.
Friday, December 31, 2010
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Protect Yourself and Fight Back (all at the same time)
It's really true. Just when you think you're caught up on the latest smart phone/laptop/plasma TV, a new one comes out. Do you then upgrade? Do you steal software? How do you keep up?
Take some time to go to reputable sources, and it does pay off. For trauma survivors, it's also useful because of global networking with other survivors. There's the good and bad side to it.
The good side is creatively use your tools to share content, tipe and more that we can all use. The bad part? Some who say they're ______ actually aren't. Not all but some support sites for survivors have pedophiles as administrators.
How do you trust anyone? We're not sure. We used to use some forums, but we stopped because of lots of horrible experiences. We followed their Terms of Service. Then, in at least 3 cases they turned out to be nightmares.
What are the reasons for this? Budget cuts. Not enough people have the time to work on these. But also, keep in mind online security. While it's obviously good to try and get the help you may need, you also have to protect yourself.
A few basic ideas:
Don't leave any obvious clues that be connected to find you.
If your current browser or O/S isn't working, consider upgrading or switching.
Use encrypted email or multiples IP addresses to cover your tracks.
All of these are out there and can be used (a lot of it for free). You just have to know where to look.
Getting help is great. But protecting yourself at all times is even better.
Take some time to go to reputable sources, and it does pay off. For trauma survivors, it's also useful because of global networking with other survivors. There's the good and bad side to it.
The good side is creatively use your tools to share content, tipe and more that we can all use. The bad part? Some who say they're ______ actually aren't. Not all but some support sites for survivors have pedophiles as administrators.
How do you trust anyone? We're not sure. We used to use some forums, but we stopped because of lots of horrible experiences. We followed their Terms of Service. Then, in at least 3 cases they turned out to be nightmares.
What are the reasons for this? Budget cuts. Not enough people have the time to work on these. But also, keep in mind online security. While it's obviously good to try and get the help you may need, you also have to protect yourself.
A few basic ideas:
Don't leave any obvious clues that be connected to find you.
If your current browser or O/S isn't working, consider upgrading or switching.
Use encrypted email or multiples IP addresses to cover your tracks.
All of these are out there and can be used (a lot of it for free). You just have to know where to look.
Getting help is great. But protecting yourself at all times is even better.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Global Networking (Contains potentially triggering content. Read at your own risk).
How's your Wednesday? Time to say thanks to our growing global audience:
Sweden
South Korea
Slovenia
Croatia
The Russian Federation
Germany
France
Ireland
the U.K.
Canada
Taiwan
China
Indonesia
India
Israel
Australia
New Zealand
Canada
and of course all over the States
We don't know who you are. We could use satellite techonology from Google to check out your neighborhood. But we'll be nice and stick to the blog.
Since it really is a global economy, it only makes sense to use your tools in the most creative way to connect. We try to pass on helpful tips and tools that are freely available on line. Some cost a small amount. The point though is how you use them.
Some of you are dealing with unstable governments, rebel attacks, floods, earthquakes and other stuff. Here, lots of problems as well.
One major problem seems to be a growing disregard for reality staring you right in the face. (NOTE: let's see if we can stick to our rule of No Triggering Current Events that you can find on those other blogs).
From a trauma perspective, the stress continues to grow in various parts of society. This means that the national PTSD rate is going up as well. It varies depending on the person and their situation. Despite that, it IS there.
Another example: rape cases in the military are growing all the time. If your really want to help a survivor, it's a good idea to start by admitting that you see all of the survivors in front of you.
There are both women and men rape survivors in the military (as there are in civilian life). How many times do you hear that in the MSM or the progressive? We don't.
To us, this means that many key people in key positions are making the problem worse. How come nobody tells them that to their face?
One copout? The number of guy survivors is so small it's not worth talking about.
Tell that to a guy survivor who's putting his life on the line in Iraq or Afghanistan.
Obvious question. How could you not feel insulted by that? Set aside for a moment if they're gay or straight. Deal with them as people violated by something horrible.
However, many powerful people don't want to do that. If it was their kid or loved one, odds are they'd use every means at their disposal to help them. They'd want to keep it as a "private matter" to keep the MSM out. To a point that's understandable. Nobody should be forced to out themselves.
Now, why is there a double standard? One for the rich and powerful, and one for the rest of us?
Because it's the old "out-of-sight-out-of-mind" scenario. Most people will do and say literally anything to make this just magically go away. It doesn't matter that these people didn't ask to be raped, humiliated and treated like dirt when they try to get help.
Just shut up and go away. But also, it's YOUR problem. So please get help. But not from me.
The Assange case is a perfect opportunity to talk about the real concerns that all rape survivors have. But nobody cares. All that matters is Assange Hype:
It's all a sham to get him killed in the States.
Just how hot is he in bed? Let's ask all of his former babe partners.
Graphic sexual details are way more important than an actual discussion about
rape.
How come none of the "big names" supporting him will touch this? They know that rape is happening in the military. They know that there are gay servicepeople. Yet, all that seems to matter is the spin on the story.
Then again, they have to live with the consequences of their actions. We wonder how they do that?
Sweden
South Korea
Slovenia
Croatia
The Russian Federation
Germany
France
Ireland
the U.K.
Canada
Taiwan
China
Indonesia
India
Israel
Australia
New Zealand
Canada
and of course all over the States
We don't know who you are. We could use satellite techonology from Google to check out your neighborhood. But we'll be nice and stick to the blog.
Since it really is a global economy, it only makes sense to use your tools in the most creative way to connect. We try to pass on helpful tips and tools that are freely available on line. Some cost a small amount. The point though is how you use them.
Some of you are dealing with unstable governments, rebel attacks, floods, earthquakes and other stuff. Here, lots of problems as well.
One major problem seems to be a growing disregard for reality staring you right in the face. (NOTE: let's see if we can stick to our rule of No Triggering Current Events that you can find on those other blogs).
From a trauma perspective, the stress continues to grow in various parts of society. This means that the national PTSD rate is going up as well. It varies depending on the person and their situation. Despite that, it IS there.
Another example: rape cases in the military are growing all the time. If your really want to help a survivor, it's a good idea to start by admitting that you see all of the survivors in front of you.
There are both women and men rape survivors in the military (as there are in civilian life). How many times do you hear that in the MSM or the progressive? We don't.
To us, this means that many key people in key positions are making the problem worse. How come nobody tells them that to their face?
One copout? The number of guy survivors is so small it's not worth talking about.
Tell that to a guy survivor who's putting his life on the line in Iraq or Afghanistan.
Obvious question. How could you not feel insulted by that? Set aside for a moment if they're gay or straight. Deal with them as people violated by something horrible.
However, many powerful people don't want to do that. If it was their kid or loved one, odds are they'd use every means at their disposal to help them. They'd want to keep it as a "private matter" to keep the MSM out. To a point that's understandable. Nobody should be forced to out themselves.
Now, why is there a double standard? One for the rich and powerful, and one for the rest of us?
Because it's the old "out-of-sight-out-of-mind" scenario. Most people will do and say literally anything to make this just magically go away. It doesn't matter that these people didn't ask to be raped, humiliated and treated like dirt when they try to get help.
Just shut up and go away. But also, it's YOUR problem. So please get help. But not from me.
The Assange case is a perfect opportunity to talk about the real concerns that all rape survivors have. But nobody cares. All that matters is Assange Hype:
It's all a sham to get him killed in the States.
Just how hot is he in bed? Let's ask all of his former babe partners.
Graphic sexual details are way more important than an actual discussion about
rape.
How come none of the "big names" supporting him will touch this? They know that rape is happening in the military. They know that there are gay servicepeople. Yet, all that seems to matter is the spin on the story.
Then again, they have to live with the consequences of their actions. We wonder how they do that?
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
How to Cope (Contains potentially triggering content. Read at your own risk).
It's either blizzards or 40+ heat. It seems like there's no middle ground anywhere.
Is the same true as you deal with healing from trauma? Do you feel like someone is listening to you? Or, does it feel like no one pays attention?
Lately, we're fighting to keep our balance. Symptoms and despair at times are crippling. We can't afford to go back to a therapist. So we make due with our sources for help when necessary.
Aside from that, do you feel paralyzed from fear? Do you feel like nobody wants to have literally any contact with you of any kind (for whatever reason)?
How do you cope with this? We're taking lots of breaks and just trying to keep moving forward. This doesn't mean don't pay attention to what's going on. Just try to keep your focus as best you can.
Everyone is responsible for what they do and say. They also have to live with the consequences.
Is the same true as you deal with healing from trauma? Do you feel like someone is listening to you? Or, does it feel like no one pays attention?
Lately, we're fighting to keep our balance. Symptoms and despair at times are crippling. We can't afford to go back to a therapist. So we make due with our sources for help when necessary.
Aside from that, do you feel paralyzed from fear? Do you feel like nobody wants to have literally any contact with you of any kind (for whatever reason)?
How do you cope with this? We're taking lots of breaks and just trying to keep moving forward. This doesn't mean don't pay attention to what's going on. Just try to keep your focus as best you can.
Everyone is responsible for what they do and say. They also have to live with the consequences.
Monday, December 27, 2010
How's Your Monday? (Contains potentially triggering material. Read at your own risk).
As they say in Australia, how ya goin? It's back to the grind (except for the lucky few who have really long holidays).
Here, it's been tough. We're fighting really hard to keep our balance. We have to be careful because triggers are everywhere. This means everything still has to be screened. Also, can you trust anybody? These days, that's extremely hard to do.
What helps to keep you focused? What helps you to not snap and kill everybody who gets in your way? We still cry many times and despair is really tough to deal with. Then again, we have to protect ourselves. What other choice do we have?
Here, it's been tough. We're fighting really hard to keep our balance. We have to be careful because triggers are everywhere. This means everything still has to be screened. Also, can you trust anybody? These days, that's extremely hard to do.
What helps to keep you focused? What helps you to not snap and kill everybody who gets in your way? We still cry many times and despair is really tough to deal with. Then again, we have to protect ourselves. What other choice do we have?
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Go Shopping
How was your Xmas? Many will go shopping today to get those great holiday disocunts to get ready for next year. Good Western economic planning.
Ours was rough. We felt sad and still do at times because nobody wants to listen to us. We still hear idiotic and triggering rubbish from others who think that this is prefectly okay to say. They seem to care less that two pedophiles repeatedly raped ues and that we could have been killed. Instead, it's okay to say rubbish like what's the big deal? It's just "experimenting" that all kids do.
How do you respond to that? Would you beat their ass into the ground? Or, would you just walk away?
We're fighting to keep our balance as best we can. Which means that we'll stick to our boundaries and never talk about this again with any immediate "family". We're sick of being constantly treated like crap by others who think this s**t is "normal communication". No it's not.
If the worst happened and they got raped, are we then supposed to instantly drop everything and help them because we're "experts" on this? We don't think so.
Do you get this s**t from others? How do you cope with this? We're just making it clear that boundaries are in place. Also, everyone is responsible for what they do and say. EVERYONE. You have to live with the consequences of everything you do and say. We still have to fight symptoms and trying to feel like we won't snap in two.
If we go public, we're uninsurable because of something that's not our fault.
But nobody wants to hear this.
Okay. If you don't, you can't have it both ways. You can't say go away one minute. Then the next go off on someone because "we're so concerned and you never say anything, blah blah blah". It doesn't work that way.
You have to protect yourself.
Ours was rough. We felt sad and still do at times because nobody wants to listen to us. We still hear idiotic and triggering rubbish from others who think that this is prefectly okay to say. They seem to care less that two pedophiles repeatedly raped ues and that we could have been killed. Instead, it's okay to say rubbish like what's the big deal? It's just "experimenting" that all kids do.
How do you respond to that? Would you beat their ass into the ground? Or, would you just walk away?
We're fighting to keep our balance as best we can. Which means that we'll stick to our boundaries and never talk about this again with any immediate "family". We're sick of being constantly treated like crap by others who think this s**t is "normal communication". No it's not.
If the worst happened and they got raped, are we then supposed to instantly drop everything and help them because we're "experts" on this? We don't think so.
Do you get this s**t from others? How do you cope with this? We're just making it clear that boundaries are in place. Also, everyone is responsible for what they do and say. EVERYONE. You have to live with the consequences of everything you do and say. We still have to fight symptoms and trying to feel like we won't snap in two.
If we go public, we're uninsurable because of something that's not our fault.
But nobody wants to hear this.
Okay. If you don't, you can't have it both ways. You can't say go away one minute. Then the next go off on someone because "we're so concerned and you never say anything, blah blah blah". It doesn't work that way.
You have to protect yourself.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
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