Is Anybody Listening? (Contains possibly triggering content. Read at your own risk).

We're staying home for a while before it's back out for more errands. We also need some time to sit and get our thoughts out.

How are your symptoms these days? Does anyone take you seriously if you talk about trauma or anything connected to that?

We've spent all week fighting different parts of the bureaucracy. Everywhere we turn, it feels like nobody wants to listen to us.

We're not 60+.
We're not a vet.
Which means that if you don't a nice neat catagory, "experts" in various govt. and social service agencies suddenly become clueless on how to deal with "disabilities".

Here in the States, it's legal to discriminate against a job applicant with PTSD. If you try to get help, some people want nothing to do with you. Because of something that's not your fault.

If you try to get social service help and do, 99% of it is only one time. How then do you cover other things like food, having a phone number, a car and other neccessities?

Do people listen to you? Or, do they just blow you off because you're their worst nightmare?

Does anyone pay attention as you battle symptoms and try to deal with everything else?

Do you hear the rubbish "weakness isn't tolerated" in your area?

Much of the time we get the feeling that others want nothing to do with us. We didn't ask to be raped and have all of this pain and humiliation in trying to survive and get help. But also it's ok to just blow us off or say completely idiotic and insulting things?

Talk to ten people on the street and meintion PTSD to them. Odds are almost all 10 will instantly think of vets. Now, tell them that civilians have PTSD too. Many want to hide or for you to just go away.

30% of the Stateside public has some form of PTSD. Is this every mentioned on the corporate MSM? No. However, Time Magazine will do a story called "Do the Taliban have PTSD"?

How f****d up is this picture?

How do you make yourself heard? Lately, we've picked up a lot of Israeli readers. How do you cope with daily trauma? Pick a country: Russia, Argentina and other places with lots of traumatic stuff. What helps you to cope with death squads, corrupt governments and various other things?

Here, for much of the population it's out-of-sight-out-of-mind. As long as it doesn't affect me directly, I could care less. If that's not true, then why has the same s**t been going on for so long?

It's because not all but many of the "big names" who say they're trying to bring about actual change aren't. Instead, it's write another pointless book. Go on a lecture tour. Put out yet another documentary DVD that tells us "the inside story of ____".

No it doesn't. It's just one person getting rich off of mass misery and apathy. It's not my problem. Blame the f*****g politicians.

Meanwhile, nothing changes.

We're not a celebrity. If we go public, would anybody pay attention?

Boundaries can be a good thing

How's your battle against symptoms going? Do you still have to screen a lot of triggering stuff? We have to edit everything. We've also trashed a lot of extremely triggering material that we'v had for far too long. Think of it as ongoing spring cleaning?

How are your boundaries working for you? We politely but firmly stick to ours. This means using tools in a creative way to accomplish your goal: protecting your balance.

This can be a wide range of things:
putting the right message on your email and voicemail
checking these only twice a day (do you really need to do this every 5 minutes?)
If somebody else is triggering and won't back off, hang up or walk away. There's no point in sinking to their level and then having to apologize later. You have better things to do with your time.
Don't leave any obvious clues in your online content so someone can out you. This doesn't mean be ultra paranoid 24/7. Just careful.

Finally, if you don't need to deal with something, turn it off or don't spend money on it. Why sit there when you don't need to (unless the boss tells you to)? Life's too short.

Also, if you have a strong opinion on something, make yourself heard. The trick is how you do it in this dog-eat-dog 24/7 corporate Net world.

Does this happen to you (PTSD Discrimination)?

Spent all day fighting the bureaucracy in trying to get help with paying for therapy.

For our intl. readers, here in the States there's Medicaid. It's a program designed to help low income people pay for various types of medical treatment. We've been trying to use it as a way to pay for our PTSD therapy.

We went thru national offices. The people there said we can't help you. Go to the state office. The state office people say we only work with people over 60 or people who are vets (we're neither). If you talk to literally anyone else, either they don't know what other agencies are doing. Or, they have no clue on how to help a guy rape survivor with PTSD who's not a vet.

Does this happen in your part of the world?

We're now down to 3 final sources. If none of them can help us, we won't appeal our supplemental income denial. We don't have time to do that, find jobs and look for potential help with rent, utlitities and food all at the same time.

Can you get help where you live? Lots of our intl. readers have stronger social service safety nets. Here, it's the opposite. One national Health and Human Service agency boss actually said if necessary, go to an emergency room for treatment. That way, they have to treat you. Apparently he doesn't know that many people there don't know how to diagnose or deal with various degrees of PTSD.

We have a problem and we want to get help. But nobody wants to deal with us. So the answer is to always go an emergency room?

Does this happen to you?

If we can't get answers to our questions we won't appeal our denial. Instead we'll get new jobs and just deal with this as best we can. What other option do we have here?

If a job or school is lined up (and the student loans as well), we could emigrate to study or work. The question is where would we go?

We feel like we're getting penalized for something that's not our fault.

Any comments?

Sunny, Warmer and Looking Up

How's your day? Here, it's warming up a little for a change. Also no snow to shovel. A good sign.

Keeping our seratonin level up (mainly thru diet) today, and it's helping our balance a little. We still have symptoms. The despair is still there. Then again, we're not responsible for others who just don't get it for whatever reason.

NOTE: A lot of those other sites are putting out end-of-the-year fundraising appeals. Keep in mind we have none of these here:

ads.
An online shop with coffee mugs, t-shirts and any other marketing gimmick you can imagine.
A newsletter you pay $19.95 per year for.
CD's, DVD's, or pirate ones that we hope somebody else won't notice.

We offer 100% free information. Coping with PTSD, being a trauma survivor, and online security tips that a consultant would charge you a fortune for.

We could charge you here. But making money off trauma? We don't think so.

Does anybody else offer you this global mix 24/7 for free? Again, we don't think so.

In return, we only ask one thing. Please link us everywhere you can (unless it messes up your healing). Readers in 32 countries proves that quality content and word-of-mouth promotion does work.

Only about 158 countries to go.

Is Anyone Paying Attention to You?

Staying in tonight to catch up on some latenight voicemail and online content.

We'll be very careful as we write this. But bear with us if some of this is unintentionally triggering.

Assange is in jail. Now, it seems like everyone remotely connected to Wikileaks is getting hacked by "mysterious forces". Can we prove who's doing this? No. However, all of this brings a few points to mind.

What's a key factor in Assange's case? "Alleged rape" by two women in Sweden. He says he's innocent and a victim of a political frameup. One of the women "allegedly" has CIA ties. This means that the sensational aspects are getting way more attention than actually dealing with a rape case.

Yes this has all the elements:
sex
crime
a man of mystery
a global network set to bring down other global networks that don't "officially exist"
Did we mention sex?

Now, is there any talk about how hard it is for women to be taken seriously when they are raped? Is anyone talking about guys who get raped? No. Once again, all that matters is hype to make a profit.

Can you donate to Wikileaks? Not for much longer. Key means of support are all giving in to government pressure.

This case is proof that society will deal to a point with women who get raped. What if this case involved a woman head of Wikileaks and two Swedish guys? Would this be getting the same amount of global hype? Would millions attack the guys for allowing themselves to be raped?

If you talk to the average person about someone having PTSD, 99.9 percent of the time they'll automatically think vet. They'll NEVER think civilian who's possibly a guy rape survivor.

Why is that? Stupidity? Lack of education? Arrogance and a refusal to deal with reality? We don't know.

Now, back to our symptoms. We're still looking for the new jobs. The bureaucracy to try and get help with rent and utilities is rough. We have to protect ourselves.

We still have despair and some symptoms. At night, we cry ourselves to sleep. At times I don't have answers for my multiples and little kid (how come nobody will admit that we exist? How come millions will pay attention to two Swedish women who might have been raped. But nobody will pay attention to us?).

How would you answer questions like that?

Bear with us. We're trying really hard to keep this a trauma only blog. Wikileaks doesn't need any more free publicity.

An Extremely High Trigger Level

Right now, the triggering level is extremely high. Our suggestion? Unless you have to look at this stuff, don't do it. Do you want to have symptom problems as a result of that(more than you have now)?

Trust your intuition and protect yourself.

Be Aware of the Effects of Things on You

Today is a VERY HIGH triggering event day. Pay attention to your intuition and avoid everything unless you have to look at it.

Another tip for the day. Pay attention to what you do and how it affects you. Is this second nature, or something that maybe you could change in some way? Odds are you haven't thought about how it affects you and your healing.

We've made several changes in many areas. We've saved both time and money. Which leaves you more time for other things. Then, possibly more time to make more money.

Do what's best for your balance and overall healing. All we're syaing is consider making some changes if needed to help that process.