Staying in tonight with our lemonade and listening to the Giants-Braves game online. Via a Canadian station. Even though we know who won the game by looking at Stateside sites. That's the Net for ya.
How are your symptoms? We've thought about it, and we're going to apply for disability. We've lost jobs in the past because of PTSD. Also, we really don't want to be homeless for a third time.
This means apply for that, find low stress jobs. Then, go back to therapy and have a stable base overall. We still fight every day and feel like we're going to black out. Then at the end of that day when we're totally exhausted, we feel like we've moved about 2 cm.
But what else can you do but keep going?
We're taking it in tiny segments. But also we're protecting ourselves as much as possible. The only things we can handle right now are sports scores and job hunting stuff. We stay away from the rest of it.
Do you have blackouts? Do your multiples lash out? Do you feel like anyone's listening to you and admits that you exist? We hope that things are looking up for you.
Thanks for the support. Also, please link us everywhere you can. If you can talk some progressive media outlet to carry us, please do. We tried, and they didn't listen. Maybe it's a matter of someone else dropping hints.
Monday, October 11, 2010
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Keep Your Balance
Survived a horrible night last night. We had a really sick lucid dream last night where somebody tried to rape and kill us. We fought back and killed them instead. Got almost no sleep and now we're just trying to heal.
Is this happening to you as well? How do you fight back? Just "going with your feelings" doesn't work.
How's everything else right now?
Is this happening to you as well? How do you fight back? Just "going with your feelings" doesn't work.
How's everything else right now?
Saturday, October 9, 2010
The Weekend
How's it looking for you? Sorry we've been away for a while. But it was a horrible week until a few days ago. We had two job interviews. Didn't get the first one. We got the second one. But we'll never do that ever again. The firm lied in it's initial ads. We won't say what it was because it's too triggering. But never again.
Now it's back to looking, dealing with symptoms, trying for disability and potentially moving again. You go where you have to to get the new jobs and the help that you need. And unfortunately in our area it's really tough. But you keep going and keep your balance.
We have some source in various places that are helping us out. It's the old thing of the more the use the better your results. A key in all of this is balance. Also, protection.
Have a great day.
Now it's back to looking, dealing with symptoms, trying for disability and potentially moving again. You go where you have to to get the new jobs and the help that you need. And unfortunately in our area it's really tough. But you keep going and keep your balance.
We have some source in various places that are helping us out. It's the old thing of the more the use the better your results. A key in all of this is balance. Also, protection.
Have a great day.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Keep You Focus
Enjoying your day? One tip that might help to cope with symptoms? Focus on lots of different things to stop dissociating. The idea is to keep you busy as a helpful tool (in addition to the other holistic stuff that you're doing).
Try it and see how it goes.
Try it and see how it goes.
Saturday, October 2, 2010
You're Not Responsible
Enjoying the weekend? Here, still no snow. The pool is open again. Things are looking up.
A key idea to keep in mind. Despite all the sick and twisted things happening in the world, keep in mind that you're not responsible for what others say and do. Now, many big name activists are always talking about we all have a responsibility to our fellow persons. We can't just sit by and do nothing.
In one sense, that's true. But what they have to also keep in mind are several things:
If you're a trauma survivor, how can you help others when you need to concentrate on your healing first?
How come there's no united progressive front to once and for all bring pressure on the powers that be to force them (yes, non-violently of couse) to change this stuff?
Answer? Egos, money and power. Yes, this even affects many of these activists. They'd probably never publically admit that. But it's true.
It's the old being in a crowded room thing. Everyone sits and knows that action needs to be taken. Yet, nobody will do anything until one person does it. Then it's like lemmings mingrating behind the leader.
Today in Washington, there's a progressive protest. How much ocverage will the corporate MSM give it? Maybe 2 minutes. Will they actually interview anyone connected with it? Only if they're judged to not be a troublemaker, uppity (you get the idea).
If it involves donating large sums of money, for many rich and powerful people they'll ask the obvious questions:
How does this benefit this cause?
How will this benefit me?
Many of these celebs work within the system to reach their level of fame and fortune. Do you seriously think that all of them will completely risk all of that? We can name a tiny number that have. What's happened to them? They've been blacklisted, exiled or even killed.
Most people want nothing to do with trauma survivors. Right now, if you live in the States, essentially weakness isn't tolerated. Nobody cares about your problems. Just shut up and get on with it.
This continues to be analyzed to death by various experts, pundits and their assistants, groupies and who knows who else.
Nothing has changed.
How are your symptoms today?
A key idea to keep in mind. Despite all the sick and twisted things happening in the world, keep in mind that you're not responsible for what others say and do. Now, many big name activists are always talking about we all have a responsibility to our fellow persons. We can't just sit by and do nothing.
In one sense, that's true. But what they have to also keep in mind are several things:
If you're a trauma survivor, how can you help others when you need to concentrate on your healing first?
How come there's no united progressive front to once and for all bring pressure on the powers that be to force them (yes, non-violently of couse) to change this stuff?
Answer? Egos, money and power. Yes, this even affects many of these activists. They'd probably never publically admit that. But it's true.
It's the old being in a crowded room thing. Everyone sits and knows that action needs to be taken. Yet, nobody will do anything until one person does it. Then it's like lemmings mingrating behind the leader.
Today in Washington, there's a progressive protest. How much ocverage will the corporate MSM give it? Maybe 2 minutes. Will they actually interview anyone connected with it? Only if they're judged to not be a troublemaker, uppity (you get the idea).
If it involves donating large sums of money, for many rich and powerful people they'll ask the obvious questions:
How does this benefit this cause?
How will this benefit me?
Many of these celebs work within the system to reach their level of fame and fortune. Do you seriously think that all of them will completely risk all of that? We can name a tiny number that have. What's happened to them? They've been blacklisted, exiled or even killed.
Most people want nothing to do with trauma survivors. Right now, if you live in the States, essentially weakness isn't tolerated. Nobody cares about your problems. Just shut up and get on with it.
This continues to be analyzed to death by various experts, pundits and their assistants, groupies and who knows who else.
Nothing has changed.
How are your symptoms today?
Friday, October 1, 2010
You Need to Watch This
Please check out this holistic clip. Also, please pass this onto everyone you know who could use it. Thanks!
http://youtu.be/UTV7089y59Q
http://youtu.be/UTV7089y59Q
It Is Friday
How's your Friday? Here, another 90F day and the pool is finally reopened. But no poolside bar. These things take time.
Fighting symptoms and trying to maintain our balance. Part of the process? Paying attention to the right to have and say your opinion. It seems common to trauma survivors to constantly have others trying to shut them down. Verbal, physical, emotional abuse and then finally rape. Nobody pays attention and you're not sure what to do.
The truth is you do have a right to your opinion and not to be treated like dirt. We're standing our ground as far as that goes. Some in the "family" say they're concerned. But if the worst were to happen and some of them offered to help us out, under no circumstances would we say yes unless there was absolutely no abuse whatsoever. Because normal human beings can only take so much. In our case, we're sick of being treated like dirt. Which mean we'll nevr put ourselves in that position ever again. Others are responsible for what they do and say. Nobody forced them to be abusive for a long time and then to never apologize for it. That's not "communication". But some apparently would rather literally go to their grave before they admit that they were wrong.
We're not responsble for that.
Now, we're still applying for jobs and living on almost nothing at all. But, we're planning ahead just in case the worst happens. Then, we sell everything, pay off our lease and leave.
Where would we go then? At that point, it's just a packed car and that's it. We're not sure. But we'll never put ourselves in an abusive situtation ever again. Life's too short to waste it.
Fighting symptoms and trying to maintain our balance. Part of the process? Paying attention to the right to have and say your opinion. It seems common to trauma survivors to constantly have others trying to shut them down. Verbal, physical, emotional abuse and then finally rape. Nobody pays attention and you're not sure what to do.
The truth is you do have a right to your opinion and not to be treated like dirt. We're standing our ground as far as that goes. Some in the "family" say they're concerned. But if the worst were to happen and some of them offered to help us out, under no circumstances would we say yes unless there was absolutely no abuse whatsoever. Because normal human beings can only take so much. In our case, we're sick of being treated like dirt. Which mean we'll nevr put ourselves in that position ever again. Others are responsible for what they do and say. Nobody forced them to be abusive for a long time and then to never apologize for it. That's not "communication". But some apparently would rather literally go to their grave before they admit that they were wrong.
We're not responsble for that.
Now, we're still applying for jobs and living on almost nothing at all. But, we're planning ahead just in case the worst happens. Then, we sell everything, pay off our lease and leave.
Where would we go then? At that point, it's just a packed car and that's it. We're not sure. But we'll never put ourselves in an abusive situtation ever again. Life's too short to waste it.
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