More Global Bailouts and stuff

The G20 is now over. These governments will spend $5 trillion and do more to fix the global economy. But if you print lots of money, the value goes down. But, nobody wants to admit things like that that could possibly put THEM on the unemployment line.

Closer to here, you can sense the higher stress levels. My therapist says that roughly 3 out of 10 people are trauma survivors (physical, emotional, verbal or sexual. Or all of these). At times the frustration of the world saying you don't exist is hard to handle. Also, the superficiality of some who expect you to just go along like life is ok. But if you try to talk about coping with symptoms, instantly it's what the f**k is this s**t? I DON'T WANNA HEAR IT, OK? So what am I supposed to do then? Just suck it up because the world is totally f****d up. And if you're not strong enough to take it then just f**k off? It mystifies me that some people could be like that.

Then again, I'm not responsible for them. So I choose to go on as positively as I can. How do you set boundaries to protect yourself? When was the last time someone hugged you and said, I'm sorry you were raped? It still hasn't happened to me.

Keeping the Balance

How are you coping in Bailout World? Nothing much will come out of the G20. And meanwhile, the bailouts keep coming.

I'm really trying to focus on balance. I'm trying every angle I can to find the new job and still build up the online sources. But sometimes the anger hits and then frustration and sadness. Still, I'm not going to do anything that will out myself. If it's appropriate, I'll do small things. But I'm not responsible for every survivor's healing.

How are you doing in drawing lines where necessary?

How's Your Balance?

How's your Monday? My multiples little kid and I are still meeting as much as possible. And, the mix of nervous system tonic, Vitamin D (and other herbs) are helping a little more at night. We still have dissociating at times and horrible anger. We really have to focus hard at times and we still feel sometimes like we'll snap in two.

The other thing is very sharp intuiton. It's like you're eight steps ahead of everybody else. At times we listened to business news. And it was like, ok. Tell us something we don't know. And it never came up (99% of the time).

But, stay away from triggers. And focus on what you can and need to do instead.

Cover All the Angles

How's your Wednesday? Right now working at home trying to catch up on the online moneymaking content. And staying away from triggers as much as possible. It's LOTS OF EDITING. But you have to protect yourself.

My multiples, little kid and I are still meeting every day. I try to listen as much as I can to them. But also they know that I have stuff that I have to do. So it's multitask as you go.

Is it common for survivors to always have the feeling that you're about 6 steps ahead of everybody else? My intuition is screaming sometimes. And then my percentage for being correct is much higher now. How do you filter out bombarding thoughts, feelings and more if you're in a crowded room?

Thanks in advance for your input.

More Integration and More Anger

Catching up more on online applications and the web site. There are income streams out there. But it's the old content-and-promotion-with-no-personal-assistant thing.

For trauma survivors, do you ever get past the anger and at times paralyzing fear? Sometimes the fear hits and flashbacks as well. You have to catch yourself for a second and say, no this isn't real. We don't want to disappear in dissociating forever. So what else can you do?

What keeps you in balance? Feel free to post your thoughts here. And thanks for the support.

Fighting Back Really Hard

Another Monday in Bailout World. How much has been paid out in AIG bonuses? Try over $200 million. What's next? We'll see.

Last night, had another rough time with vicious anger. Finally got to sleep around 4 a.m. I'm really trying to stay off caffeine, sugar and to be nice to my body. Still, at times you want to punch out everything in sight.

My multiples and my little kid are getting a lot out, which is good. On the other hand, at times you feel parlayzed. And we think, how come nobody can be bothered to pay attention? But we try not to dwell on it because what's the point????

Fighting to Focus

Making progress in the job hunt. I'm trying to also build up the online income streams as well.

But still dissociating is hard to handle. You stay away from all of the junk. And STILL it hits. As for triggers, I'm still editing everything. And feeling like I want to punch out the walls.

How do you get thru periods like this? Please post your comments.