How's Your Balance?

How's your Monday? My multiples little kid and I are still meeting as much as possible. And, the mix of nervous system tonic, Vitamin D (and other herbs) are helping a little more at night. We still have dissociating at times and horrible anger. We really have to focus hard at times and we still feel sometimes like we'll snap in two.

The other thing is very sharp intuiton. It's like you're eight steps ahead of everybody else. At times we listened to business news. And it was like, ok. Tell us something we don't know. And it never came up (99% of the time).

But, stay away from triggers. And focus on what you can and need to do instead.

Cover All the Angles

How's your Wednesday? Right now working at home trying to catch up on the online moneymaking content. And staying away from triggers as much as possible. It's LOTS OF EDITING. But you have to protect yourself.

My multiples, little kid and I are still meeting every day. I try to listen as much as I can to them. But also they know that I have stuff that I have to do. So it's multitask as you go.

Is it common for survivors to always have the feeling that you're about 6 steps ahead of everybody else? My intuition is screaming sometimes. And then my percentage for being correct is much higher now. How do you filter out bombarding thoughts, feelings and more if you're in a crowded room?

Thanks in advance for your input.

More Integration and More Anger

Catching up more on online applications and the web site. There are income streams out there. But it's the old content-and-promotion-with-no-personal-assistant thing.

For trauma survivors, do you ever get past the anger and at times paralyzing fear? Sometimes the fear hits and flashbacks as well. You have to catch yourself for a second and say, no this isn't real. We don't want to disappear in dissociating forever. So what else can you do?

What keeps you in balance? Feel free to post your thoughts here. And thanks for the support.

Fighting Back Really Hard

Another Monday in Bailout World. How much has been paid out in AIG bonuses? Try over $200 million. What's next? We'll see.

Last night, had another rough time with vicious anger. Finally got to sleep around 4 a.m. I'm really trying to stay off caffeine, sugar and to be nice to my body. Still, at times you want to punch out everything in sight.

My multiples and my little kid are getting a lot out, which is good. On the other hand, at times you feel parlayzed. And we think, how come nobody can be bothered to pay attention? But we try not to dwell on it because what's the point????

Fighting to Focus

Making progress in the job hunt. I'm trying to also build up the online income streams as well.

But still dissociating is hard to handle. You stay away from all of the junk. And STILL it hits. As for triggers, I'm still editing everything. And feeling like I want to punch out the walls.

How do you get thru periods like this? Please post your comments.

Dangerous Stuff

Lots of triggers everywhere you look. It's too dangerous to watch TV. Newspapers and online stuff has to be screened.

There's still anger at times from the way lots of people treated us like s**t. And expect us to be superficial and act like life is just great. Instead, we try to just keep a positive balance. Which means no caffeine ESPECIALLY NOW.

Tomorrow I finish my tax stuff. Will I finally get my freaking Bailout check? We'll see.

We Feel Sad

My multiples and little kid are talking about a lot right now. But we feel sad.

There's a lot of fear at times. How come nobody will listen to us? How come nobody will touch us? We're not bad. We didn't ask to be raped. But NOBODY will EVER touch us or tell us, we're sorry you were raped. Lots of supreficial stuff is ok. But that's going too far and will never happen.

Will anybody ever listen? We've called help lines in the past and were told to f**k off. Lots of people are "abusing our help line for free therapy." And we're sick of it. What then is a "crisis?" Does this mean that again we don't count?

Sometimes we don't know what to do.